What Can Be Used Against You In A Divorce: 9 Risky Things

What can be used against you in a divorce” is a topic that many individuals facing the complexities of a divorce may find themselves seeking answers to. In this blog post, I aim to shed light on the potential factors that could negatively impact your divorce proceedings— from financial indiscretions to parental fitness and more.

The objective is not to instill fear but to equip you with the knowledge and strategies to navigate this challenging process with resilience and foresight. In the following sections, I will delve into these nine potential pitfalls and guide you on mitigating their impact on divorce proceedings.

what can be used against you in a divorce

What Can Be Used Against You In A Divorce: 9 Possible Things

In a divorce, various factors can be used against you depending on your jurisdiction’s circumstances and laws. Here are some common things that can potentially be used against you in a divorce:

#1. Inappropriate conduct and infidelity:

One of the most common factors that can significantly impact divorce proceedings is inappropriate conduct, including infidelity. Evidence of an external affair or other forms of misconduct can be used against an individual in divorce cases, affecting alimony, property division, and even child custody arrangements. For example, explicit text messages, emails, or photos that indicate an affair can be used as evidence.

#2. Social media posts:

Your posts on social media can be used against you in a divorce because what you post can be considered an admission of guilt. If you post something about drinking or partying, your partner can use that to prove that your lifestyle choices are irresponsible and not conducive to what is in the children’s best interest.

Additionally, a history of posts related to dating or similar activities can prove that you have broken your marital promises. Moreover, comments about perceived grievances with your partner may be utilized in court as proof of antagonistic behavior and likely alienation of affection.

I know a woman who started dating before the divorce was finalized and she was posting regularly on social media about her new relationship. Her husband used these activities against her on the child custody issue.

#3. Your employment status:

In the context of a divorce, your job status can potentially be used as ammunition against you. If you have lost or left your employment for whatever reason, your spouse could interpret this to mean that you cannot adequately provide monetarily for any children involved. Therefore, ensure that these situations are handled with great care and caution.

Additionally, if you opt for a job with remuneration beyond what is deemed necessary, your spouse may argue that your earnings exceed the family’s requirements. If this argument can be proved to hold, they are in an improved position to secure their legal claims.

If you are unemployed or working fewer hours than what is standard in your particular field, this could be used as evidence that you have not taken the necessary steps to provide financial support for your family. Such a notion could put you at a disadvantage in court proceedings.

#4. Your relationship with your children:

Your current relationship with your kids may be used as leverage against you in a divorce. If your partner accuses you of not dedicating enough attention and emotional support to them, they can use it as evidence in court.

Furthermore, if the children’s behavior reflects poorly on you or there have been reports of inappropriate punishment from yourself, it could serve as proof of an incapability of parenting according to court standards.

Furthermore, if your partner can demonstrate that you do not satisfy your financial responsibilities for the kids’ educational or extracurricular activities, it could be used as evidence to suggest that what you’re doing is contrary to their best interests.

#5. Your criminal record:

Your prior criminal record can be used against you in a divorce hearing. If you have had any past violent encounters such as domestic abuse or harassment, the court could inspect it to assess what kind of person you are and how suitable an environment would be for your children if they were placed in your care.

Suppose a court finds out you have any previous offenses connected to substance abuse or criminal activities. In that case, it may be deemed proof of your recklessness and could impact their decision when granting your partner’s request. Your past misconduct can indicate that your actions are not for the betterment of yourself and your family.

Moreover, if you have had any prior arrests or convictions for what the court considers a moral offense, such as infidelity, it could be used to argue that your partner should get what they are asking for in the divorce. Convicted felon around the child is considered a severe issue to the court.

#6. Your financial situation:

During the divorce process, your financial standing can be used against you. Suppose your ex-partner proves that what you are making surpasses the family’s necessary needs. In that case, they may utilize this argument for an upper hand in negotiations and receive more than their fair share of assets. The hidden assets that you didn’t disclose can also be used against you in divorce.

Furthermore, if the court finds any discrepancies between what you earn and what you claim to make in your divorce filings, it could be interpreted as financial dishonesty. This can create a negative impression of yourself with the judge handling your case, which may harm your arguments during the proceedings.

If you have unpaid debts or any convictions on your record, this can be used against you in court to demonstrate that the court views it as irresponsible behavior. This could prove detrimental during a divorce case too. Moving money from joint bank accounts to your account also might be used against you.

#7. Call records:

In a divorce, your call records could be used against you. For instance, if your spouse can demonstrate that the conversations on the phone are not conducive to adequate parenting–such as what activities and needs of the children require attention–the court may consider this when ruling. This information is an essential piece of evidence in determining how qualified one is as a parent.

Additionally, if records demonstrate that your phone conversations are unsuitable for a family environment – such as what some may deem questionable dialog or language- you could face the consequences in court. The judge might perceive your misbehavior as an indication of what kind of atmosphere your kids would have should they live with you.

If your phone records reflect exorbitant or inappropriate use, it could be contorted to demonstrate that you are disregarding the requirements for your family and children in court. This can consequently have a detrimental effect on your divorce proceedings.

#8. Text messages and emails:

During a divorce, your text messages and emails may be damning evidence against you in court. By exhibiting hurtful or offensive language towards your partner, the court may view this as an indication of an unstable family environment. Similarly, any words deemed inappropriate or immoral might be used to impact the verdict of your case disadvantageously.

Furthermore, what is said in these messages and emails can be used as evidence for the court to prove that you have not fulfilled your parental obligations or prioritized family needs. Therefore, it is highly advised to carefully word all of your digital communications since they could potentially work against you if brought up during a legal proceeding.

#9. Medical reports:

In divorce proceedings, medical records can be used against you. If your doctor’s report shows something to be medically impossible or risky for your health, the court is more likely to deny what you’ve requested.

Furthermore, if any medical reports suggest that you have an addiction problem or other health issues, it could demonstrate a lack of responsibility on your part and work against you in the legal process.

Again, what is found in medical reports can be used to prove that you cannot take care of yourself or the children. This could lead to a decision made by the court that does not favor what you are asking for during the divorce proceedings.

4 Proven Tips to Protect Yourself During Divorce Against Dirty Divorce Tricks

Consult with a professional:

The best way to protect yourself during divorce is to seek professional help. You must consult an experienced divorce lawyer to guide you through the legal process and ensure your interests are adequately represented in court.

Also, talking to a therapist or counselor can be beneficial as they can provide emotional support and help you focus on what’s important during the divorce process. If you are a man, try to learn some divorce tricks for men. But don’t use narcissist divorce tactics against your spouse.

Avoid a romantic relationship until officially divorced:

This is paramount. If you are found to be in a relationship with someone else during the divorce proceedings, it will undoubtedly paint you as an unreliable partner and can be used against you in court. Ensure that all interactions between yourself and any romantic interests are strictly platonic until your official divorce is finalized.

External affair during divorce is not illegal, but it can lead to an unfavorable court ruling, especially if there are child custody issues. Family courts tend to frown upon extramarital affairs during divorce proceedings. The principal reason is that it could potentially disrupt the family’s emotional stability, mainly if children are involved. The court’s main priority in divorce cases is to act in the children’s best interests, and introducing a new romantic partner during this tumultuous period can create confusion and emotional upset for the kids, possibly negatively influencing your child custody outcome.

Moreover, an affair can also bring financial implications into the picture. If you are spending marital funds on your new relationship, it may be seen as a dissipation of marital assets. This could impact the division of property and financial settlements, possibly leading to a less favorable outcome for you.

Be aware of your financial transactions and purchases:

Consciousness and transparency about all financial activities during the divorce process are essential. This includes paying down specific debts, transferring money between accounts, or spending large sums on seemingly unnecessary items, for instance, a new car without consulting with your spouse. The court may view these as attempts to hide assets or manipulate your financial situation, which can be used against you in the divorce. Additionally, if your spouse believes they have been taken advantage of financially, it could result in a more contentious divorce proceeding and a worse settlement for you.

Both spouses are liable for all credit card debts incurred during the marriage, and you must be aware of how much you spend daily. Ensure your spouse does not run up large amounts of debt before the divorce, leaving you with hefty payments in the future. Therefore, before making any major purchases or engaging in significant financial activities during a divorce, seek guidance from your divorce attorney. 

Steer clear of any incriminating texts or emails:

Be mindful of any messages exchanged with your former spouse, as these will be key evidence in the proceedings. Refrain from sending any threatening or derogatory messages that could damage your credibility and land you in legal trouble. Ensure all communications are respectful and on-topic— anything else should be avoided.

Furthermore, delete any texts or emails you would not want a court to examine; this includes anything that may be used against you. If your spouse has shared potentially incriminating messages with third parties, contact an attorney immediately for advice on how to proceed. Additionally, if you think your spouse is intercepting your messages, it is best to talk with a lawyer to discuss what measures can be taken. 

Be prepared for court proceedings:

Divorces can be long and tedious, so preparing for court proceedings is wise. Ensure you have all your documents in order, including tax returns, financial statements, bank accounts, and other related paperwork. These will help you build a strong case with relevant evidence that supports your claims.

Additionally, stay fully present at hearings— do not hide facts or embellish the truth. If you are unsure about something, it is best to consult a lawyer who can provide sound advice for your case beforehand. 

Do you want to learn more about dirty divorce tricks spouses play and ways to avoid them during your divorce? Watch the video below for details:

More Related to What Can Be Used Against You In A Divorce

How do you play dirty in a divorce?

In the unfortunate divorce situation, playing dirty can be all too easy. People often feel overwhelmed and desperate to do whatever it takes to protect themselves, resulting in behaviors such as hoarding money, withholding documents, and refusing to cooperate with the other party. Not signing divorce papers in a timely can also be considered a dirty divorce tactic.

Additionally, lying or trying to paint one’s former partner in a bad light by inflating stories or telling half-truths is also a way of playing dirty in a divorce. Underhanded tactics like these can be immensely harmful since they usually prolong negotiations and create an ugly atmosphere that nobody wants to be part of.

To avoid such dishonesty, both parties need to approach the process with respect and humility, always working towards a resolution in a civil manner.

Can therapy be used against you in divorce?

Under the US legal system, the answer is ‘yes,’ though it may depend on several factors. Recent developments in legal precedence suggest that the information disclosed by either party during marital counseling–including discussion of finances or criticism of the other partner–may be recoverable and open to interrogation during a divorce.

However, laws in many states protect confidential communications made during therapy, even if it occurs within the context of a marriage.

Therefore, whether or not this kind of material can be used against a person in a divorce depends on local regulations and the history of their particular case.

Will my mental health impact my divorce?

During a divorce, be aware of how your mental health can affect the outcome. Your state of mind can be critical in determining how you proceed with the proceedings. This is one of the most common reasons for losing child custody.

Mental health issues such as crippling depression, high levels of stress and anxiety, and trauma can lead to challenging roles during a divorce, resulting in an unsuccessful court proceeding, expensive settlements, and prolonged delays in getting out of a painful situation.

Talking with mental healthcare providers is highly recommended if these issues are present as part of the divorce process. This will help ensure that your needs are being met appropriately for yourself and your children who may be involved in this challenging situation.

Can a child therapist testify in court?

Often, a child therapist may be qualified to testify in court as an expert witness. While the exact regulations for doing so vary by state, therapists must generally demonstrate a specialized knowledge of mental health and experience in counseling children that qualifies them to evaluate mental states and give testimony regarding their observations.

Even when they are qualified to testify, they are expected to do so objectively and dispassionately with the child’s best interests in mind.

While the attorney should go through whatever steps are necessary to secure a therapist’s testimony according to local laws, it is ultimately up to the court to determine whether or not it is valid and will be accepted as evidence.

How to divorce your wife and keep everything?

Divorcing a wife and coming out on top financially can seem impossible, especially when trying to navigate the legal system. However, you can take steps to make sure that you minimize losses, protect your assets, and come away from the divorce process with everything you need for a new beginning. The key is to stay focused on protecting yourself and ensuring that all assets are divided fairly in this hard journey of divorce.

A good strategy is to hire a lawyer who specializes in family law and understands both state laws governing divorce as well as any personal contracts between spouses.

Document all shared possessions so they can be identified and valued during the property division. Having all this information will help ensure an optimal result when it comes time to bargain with your soon-to-be ex-spouse or their attorney.

With careful planning, knowledge of the law, and strong legal representation, it is possible for anyone facing divorce to keep as much of their property as possible on their side of the split.

What are my rights as a wife in a divorce?

As a wife in the United States, you have several rights regarding getting a divorce. In most states, you have the right to receive an equitable distribution of shared assets and debts. This means that any property or debt acquired during your marriage will be divided between the two parties based on what is deemed fair and just.

You also have the right to spousal support, if necessary, which is financial assistance from one spouse to another either during or after a divorce.

Additionally, you may have access to the use of marital residence until the divorce is finalized and be reimbursed for any court-related costs or fees that you incur throughout the process. Being aware of your rights as a wife in a divorce can help ensure that you are treated fairly throughout the process.

How can a woman protect herself in a divorce?

Divorce can be a difficult, complex process for everyone involved, particularly women. To ensure a smooth transition and maximize her protection during the divorce process, a woman should educate herself by understanding her state’s divorce laws and seeking out professional assistance from qualified divorce attorneys or mediators.

Additionally, she should gather any documents related to the marriage, such as financial records or property deeds, to create an up-to-date account of each partner’s assets and liabilities. This can be further proof during the divorce proceedings if any disputes arise.

Finally, it is also beneficial for a woman to limit communication with her spouse during the process and instead rely on mediation experts or legal representatives to handle most conversations with them. By taking these steps, she can better protect herself in a divorce.

Can mental health records be used in divorce?

Using mental health records in divorce proceedings is a controversial legal issue in the United States. States have different perspectives on this practice; some have strict protocols to follow if the records are used during trials.

In general, most endeavors to use mental health records as evidence in a divorce must be requested by the court; an individual may not use such records without a judge’s authorization.

Depending on court requirements and applicable state laws, both spouses must provide consent before any mental health documents are presented as evidence, meaning both parties will likely receive copies of any mental health record or evaluation that is part of the trial.

Overall, it is essential for those going through a divorce to become informed about their rights regarding how their mental and emotional well-being is treated in legal proceedings. I handled a case where the father won the child custody due against the bipolar mother.


In a divorce, what can be used against you highly depends on the evidence either party may have presented to the court. Whether it be financial documents, call records, text messages, emails, or medical reports — all are potentially damning in the eyes of the court when making a ruling.

Consequently, take caution when preparing any type of evidence that can be used during a divorce. This can help you avoid potential issues and get what you seek in court.

About Shakir Ahmed

Head of the editorial team. I hold a Bachelor of Laws (LL.B) from UoL. Written hundreds of articles on divorce, child custody, employment and other human rights law topics for blogs and websites worldwide. Worked 6 years as a relationship development trainer. For any communication regarding any legal matter, please feel free to email me at shakir@lawyersnlaws.com

Leave a Comment