7 Proven Tips on How to Co Parent with a Restraining Order

If you are a parent who has been issued a restraining order, you may wonder to know how to co parent with a restraining order. You may feel like you are at a disadvantage and don’t know how to proceed. 

Rest assured that there are ways to co-parent successfully while respecting the restraining order. This article will discuss seven proven tips on how to do co-parenting work in these difficult circumstances.

how to co parent with a restraining order

7 Proven Tips on How to Co Parent with a Restraining Order

#1. You must obey the restraining order:

Above all, remember that the restraining order must be followed at all times. This means no communication with the other parent except through a third party or in an emergency situation.

Also, if you follow the terms of the restraining order, it may eventually be lifted and make co-parenting easier. Moreover, next time you can present this matter in court and can get relaxation from the restraining order.

#2. Contact through a lawyer:

Having a lawyer serve as the middleman for communication between you and the other parent may be a good idea. This will ensure that all communication is appropriate and complies with the restraining order.

If necessary, make sure your lawyer is present at any co-parenting meetings or exchanges of the child.

#3. Contact with the other family members:

Although communication with the other parent may be limited, maintain a good relationship with their family members. This includes grandparents, siblings, and extended relatives. However, some parents want to stop seeing their children by their grandparents. But keeping a good relationship with them ultimately helps both.

These family members can serve as support for both you and your child during this difficult time. They can also help facilitate communication between you and the other parent.

#4. Use neutral locations for drop-offs and pick-ups:

Arrange for drop-offs and pick-ups at a neutral location, such as the child’s school or a public park, instead of exchanging the child at one parent’s home. This ensures that both parties feel safe and respected.

#5. Communicate through email or written notes:

If the restraining order prohibits verbal or electronic communication, consider using written notes or emails to communicate essential parenting decisions or arrangements. Make sure to keep copies of all written communication for your records.

#6. Use a co-parenting app or website: 

There are many apps and websites available that can help facilitate communication and coordination between co-parents while also respecting the restraining order. Such as  Our Family Wizard or Talking Parents.

#7. Petition to modify the restraining order:

If you feel that the restraining order is hindering your ability to co-parent effectively, you can petition to modify the terms of the order. This may involve therapy or other efforts to show that communication with the other parent can occur without any danger or violation of the restraining order.

Also, you may ask the court to open the communication via phone, text, or child parenting apps like TalkingParents or via a third-party mediator. Remember that modifying a restraining order is not always possible and may take some time.

#8. Keep your emotions in check:

When co-parenting with a restraining order, keep your emotions in check. This means avoiding making any decisions out of anger or revenge. Refrain from speaking negatively about the other parent in front of your children. If you need to vent about the situation, do so with a friend or therapist instead of taking it out on the other parent or your children.

#9. Avoid badmouthing your ex: 

It can be tempting to badmouth your ex to friends, family, or even your children. However, this can only harm your co-parenting relationship and may negatively affect your children. Remember that the restraining order is in place for a reason, and try to focus on how you can make the best of the situation rather than dwelling on the negative aspects.

#10. Keep up with child support payments:

Remember that just because there is a restraining order does not mean that child support payments should be neglected. Keep up with these payments and ensure the other parent is doing the same. This will help ensure that your children have their needs taken care of and can reduce tension in the co-parenting relationship.

The below video about custody and parenting time in restraining orders actions might be helpful for you:

FAQs on How to Co Parent with a Restraining Order

Co-parenting with a no-contact order might be difficult for both parties. However, here are tips on how to co-parent effectively in this situation:

What is a no-contact order?

A no-contact order is a legal order issued by a court that requires a person to have no contact with another individual. The order can prohibit the person from contacting the other individual directly or indirectly and forbid the person from coming within a certain distance of the other individual, usually 500 feet.

No-contact orders are often issued in domestic violence, stalking, or harassment cases. Violating a no-contact order is a crime in many jurisdictions and can result in jail time and expensive fines. In some cases, violators may also be required to complete a batterer’s treatment program.

No-contact orders are not always effective in preventing contact between two individuals, but they can provide a measure of protection for victims of abuse and harassment.

What are the grounds for a restraining order in a custody arrangement?

In any custody arrangement, the child’s safety is the primary concern. If either parent threatens the child’s safety, then a restraining order may be appropriate. The grounds for a restraining order can vary from state to state, but they typically involve domestic violence, child abuse, or stalking.

If there is evidence that either parent has engaged in any of these behaviours, then a judge may issue a restraining order as part of the custody arrangement. In some cases, a restraining order may also be given if one parent is deemed to be an unfit guardian.

For example, if a parent suffers from drug addiction or mental illness, a restraining order may be necessary to protect the child. Ultimately, the goal of a restraining order is to keep the child safe from harm, and it should only be used as a last resort.

Can you get a restraining order against a parent?

If you are a victim of abuse by a parent or guardian, you may be able to get a restraining order against that person. Restraining orders are legal orders issued by a court that requires the abusive parent to stay away from you and have no contact with you.

To get a restraining order, you must file a petition with the court and present evidence of the abuse. If the court finds enough evidence to support your claim, it will issue a restraining order.

The abusive parent will then be required to obey the terms of the order, which may include staying a certain distance away from you, not contacting you, and not coming near your home or work. If the parent violates the restraining order, they may be subject to arrest and criminal charges.

How long does a restraining order last?

A restraining order is a court order that protects you from someone harmful or abusive towards you. Depending on the situation, it can last anywhere from a few days to several years.

For example, if you have been a domestic violence victim, you may be granted a temporary restraining order that lasts until your next court hearing. In other cases, such as when there is a history of stalking or harassment, a restraining order may be issued for longer.

Regardless of the length of the restraining order, take it seriously and follow all of the terms and conditions. If the person named in the restraining order violates any of the terms, they may be subject to arrest and prosecution.

What can I do if the other parent violates the restraining order?

If you have a restraining order against the other parent, take steps to protect yourself and your child. If the other parent violates the restraining order, you can call the police, or you can also call CPS if it is an emergency for your child.

You should also keep a record of any violations, including the incident’s date, time, and description. Have this documentation in case you need to take legal action against the other parent.

If you are concerned about your safety, you may consider moving to a safe location. You should also tell trusted family and friends about the restraining order and provide them with a copy of the order. By taking these precautions, you can help to ensure your safety and that of your child.

Can a restraining order be issued against someone who is not the biological parent?

You may wonder if you can get a restraining order against someone who is not your biological parent. The answer is yes; you can get a restraining order against anyone you feel threatens your safety, regardless of their relationship with you.

For example, if you have been dating someone for a while and they suddenly start exhibiting abusive behaviour, you can obtain a restraining order to protect yourself from them. Likewise, if you have an adult child who is acting out in a threatening or violent way, you can also seek a restraining order.

In short, a restraining order is not limited to protecting you from family members; it can be used to protect you from anyone who threatens your well-being.


Co-parenting with a restraining order in place can be challenging, but it is not impossible. By following all the tips and always staying within the restraining order boundaries, you can ensure that you and your children have a positive co-parenting experience.

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