I Don’t Know If I Want Her or Her: 10 Ways to Choose One

Rickson, who was my research partner, suddenly texted me on Whatsapp saying that “I don’t know if I want her or her.” There are so many choices in life it can be hard to make a decision. This is especially true when it comes to picking a romantic partner. 

Today, I will explain ten ways to help you choose between two people. By following these tips, you can pick the right person for you! But before we proceed with the details, I will share more from Rickson:

“Around a month ago, I met Clara at my office trip to the city, and we’ve been chatting every day since then. I like her and have been thinking about asking her out, but lately, my friend Sarah has been talking to me more and flirting with me. She’s also beautiful and funny. Her approach to talking makes me feel that she likes me. So now I don’t know if I want her or her (Clara).”

Rickson wants me to help him out from this confusing moment. And this article is for all of them who are in the same situation and who have a similar dilemma. So let’s start.

i don't know if i want her or her

I Don’t Know If I Want Her or Her: 10 Ways to Choose One

#1. Consider your feelings for each person:

Do you see a future with either of them? Are your feelings for one stronger than the other? How do they make you feel when you’re with them? Before making any decision, take some time to reflect on your feelings for each person and how they make you feel. Through this reflection, you may come to a clear answer about who you want to be with.

I know a person whose wife left him for another person. I think it was better to leave him than continue the cheating relationship.

#2. Talk it out with a friend:

Talking to a friend can be helpful if you’re having trouble deciding. They can offer an outside perspective and help you see things you may miss. Just be sure to choose someone who won’t try to influence your decision one way or another.

#3. Follow your heart:

Ultimately, you’ll need to follow your heart and go with your gut instinct. Trust yourself to know who is right for you. When in doubt, flip a coin – whichever person it falls on is the one you should choose!

#4. Consider your physical attraction to each person:

Physical attraction is essential in a relationship, so consider how attracted you are to each person. Are you drawn to their looks and the way they carry themselves? Or do they leave you feeling indifferent? Remember, you must consider with whom you feel a natural attraction and chemistry, not just base it off of looks or societal standards. This can also help to guide your decision.

#5. Go with your gut feeling:

Another way to make a decision is by going with your gut feeling. If one person just doesn’t feel right, even if you can’t explain why then it’s probably not meant to be. Listen to your intuition and go with what feels best for you.

#6. Consider their values and beliefs:

If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, consider the values and beliefs of each person. Do they align with yours? Are they important to you? This can help you narrow things down and choose the right person for you in the long run.  

#7. Think about their lifestyle choices:

Does their lifestyle fit with yours? If you’re looking for someone who likes to travel and is up for an adventure, then choosing someone who prefers to stay at home all the time will probably work out poorly in the long run. Find someone whose lifestyle choices complement yours.”  

#8. Consider their relationship history: 

What kind of relationships have they been in before? Are they looking for something serious or just out for fun? This can give you some insight into what they’re looking for now and whether or not they’re suitable for you. Also, consider their past actions and ways they’ve treated others in previous relationships.

#9. Think about their family and friends:

If you see a future with this person, their family and friends will also become a big part of your life. What kind of people do they surround themselves with? Do their family and friends seem like people you would get along with?

Do you get along with your loved ones? Are they supportive of the relationship? This can indicate whether or not the relationship will work out in the long run.

#10. Consider your level of compatibility with each person:

Are you compatible with each other regarding interests, values, beliefs, and lifestyle choices? This can be an essential factor in choosing one person over the other. Find someone with whom you get along well and whose personality fits well with yours. This can lead to a more fulfilling and successful relationship.

How to choose between two women. I hope the below discussion will help you properly:

FAQs on I Don’t Know If I Want Her or Her

What do I do if I like 2 different girls?

If you find yourself liking two girls, there are a few things you can do to figure out which one is right for you.

First, take some time to think about what it is that you want in a relationship. What are your must-haves, and what qualities would be nice to have?

Once you know what you’re looking for, take a close look at each of the girls you’re interested in and see how they measure up. Do they possess the qualities that are important to you? Are they compatible with your lifestyle and interests?

Another important consideration is how each girl makes you feel. Does being around one make you feel happy and comfortable, while being around the other makes you anxious or stressed?

These are all critical factors to consider when choosing between two girls. Ultimately, the best way to figure out which is right for you is to listen to your heart and trust your gut instinct. Whichever girl feels suitable will likely be the one who is meant for you.

How do you decide if a girl is right for you?

There is no one answer to this question, as everyone has different standards and preferences regarding dating. However, there are a few basic things that you can look for in a potential partner to see if she might be a good match for you.

First, consider her personality. Do you have similar interests and values? Do you get along well? Compatibility is vital in any relationship, so find someone who you can see yourself spending time with.

Second, think about her appearance. This is not to say that you should only date someone who is conventionally attractive, but instead that you should find someone whose physical appearance is pleasing to you. After all, you’ll be spending a lot of time looking at her, so you must find her aesthetically pleasing.

Finally, consider her lifestyle. Do you have compatible lifestyles? For example, if you’re a night owl and she’s an early riser, there might be better matches. Find someone whose schedule and routine mesh well with your own. Considering these three factors, you can narrow your options and find the right girl.

Can a man be in love with 2 women?

While it may be possible for a man to be physically attracted to 2 women simultaneously, it is much more difficult to maintain deep feelings of love for 2 people simultaneously.

When we are in love, our brains release a cocktail of chemicals that lead to feelings of euphoria, increased energy, and decreased stress. These changes help us bond with our partners and inspire us to care for them.

It isn’t very easy to maintain these intense feelings for two people simultaneously. In addition, when we are deeply in love with someone, we often become blind to their flaws and overlook qualities that might bother us in another person.

For these reasons, a man is much more likely to be in love with one woman at a time.

Is it ok to like other girls while in a relationship?

While it is perfectly normal to find other people attractive, it can be tricky when you are already in a committed relationship. After all, if you are only attracted to your partner, why would you even notice someone else?

However, it is possible to be drawn to someone else without being disloyal. If you are honest with yourself and your partner and are still content in your relationship, then there is no reason to feel guilty about finding someone else attractive.

In fact, some psychologists believe that exploring your attractions can be healthy as long as you don’t act on them. Ultimately, as long as you are happy in your relationship, there is no need to worry about liking other girls.

Is it normal to have a crush on two people at once?

Is it normal to have a crush on two people simultaneously? While it may not be expected, it is certainly not unusual to find yourself attracted to more than one person.

Several factors can contribute to this. Perhaps you admire different qualities in each person, or you might find yourself drawn to different types of people.

It’s also possible that you haven’t yet found someone who meets all of your needs. Whatever the reason, there’s nothing wrong with having a crush on two people at once.

It might even be a sign that you’re open to new experiences and willing to take risks. So go ahead and indulge your crush – you might be surprised by what you learn about yourself.


There is no one right way to decide when it comes to choosing between two people. Consider various factors and listen to your intuition. Trust yourself and go with what feels best for you in the long run.

Remember, there’s always a chance that things may not work out, but ultimately, you can choose who is right for you. Good luck!

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