We Dated but Now She Just Wants to be Friends: 12 Real Reasons

“Last year, at a party, I met Jenelia and was attracted to her at first glance. For a long time, we dated but now she just wants to be friends. I don’t know what just happened and why she is doing so.”

This is a condition that my colleague Harry faces. If you want to know why she just wants to be friends instead of taking your relationship to the next level, then I am here with the following 12 real reasons.

we dated but now she just wants to be friends

We Dated but Now She Just Wants to be Friends: 12 Real Reasons

#1. She found someone else:

We often find ourselves liking someone even if we don’t know them. We may enter a relationship without fully understanding the person we are dating. Still, later on down the line, as we develop a stronger connection with them, different facets of their personality become apparent to us.

If she finds someone with more qualities or attributes that she likes and prefers, you can assume that she just wants to be friends with you rather than continue the relationship.

#2. She felt like you were too clingy:

Sometimes we might become too clingy in a relationship without notice. This is especially true if we need to be more secure about ourselves and our actions within the relationship. If we feel like we are not getting enough attention, we try to showcase our presence by becoming overly clingy.

It’s possible that your girlfriend felt suffocated by this behaviour and no longer wanted to continue the relationship because of it. In this case, they prefer to be friends only.

#3. She wasn’t ready for commitment:

Commitment is a two-way street. If we are not both ready to commit, then we cannot expect the relationship to progress any further. It’s possible that your partner wasn’t ready for commitment and wanted more time to explore her options before taking things forward.

Remember that you should only force someone to commit if they’re ready. Instead, you should respect their decision.

#4. She may not be over her ex yet:

Although we are the ones who are trying our best to move on, we should always consider if our partner is over her ex or not. She may still have feelings for her ex and wants time apart to figure out where she stands with him.

If this is the case, it would be better to remain friends, rather than push her into a relationship.

#5. She wants to take things slow:

Another reason why a woman may want to be friends after dating is that she wants to take things slow. This could be because you are from different cultures, and she wants to get to know you better before entering a committed relationship.

Although it can be tempting to pressure someone into a commitment, you should only do so if the person is ready.

#6. She may be checking on you:

You must never forget that you are one of many who can check your partner. It is possible that she may also be checking you to determine if you are really trustworthy and genuine or not.

If you fail her test, then it’s likely that she will just want to remain friends with you rather than take things further.

#7. She may have bad experiences in past relationships:

Bad experiences we have had in the past can often shape our present behaviour. If we have been through a traumatic relationship or experience, we start to become wary of relationships and the people we meet.

She may be scared of taking things further with you because she had such an experience in the past. For example, if she was cheated on in her past, then she may not want to take any risks with relationships now.

Also, she might not be happy with her ex, and now she is afraid and confused about getting into a new relationship. In this case, you are better off staying friends and helping her heal the past.

#8. She may have different goals:

We all have different goals we want to achieve in our lives, and we should never forget that only some people’s goals are the same as ours. In the case of your partner, it’s possible that she may have different goals and is worried about how a relationship might affect her ability to reach them.

In this situation, you should respect her decision and remain friends. You can still maintain a good relationship with her without rushing into a commitment.

#9. She may be passing the time:

You may be simply a means for her to pass the time. She may not be interested in having a serious relationship with you but just wants to hang out and have fun with you.

In this case, you should assess your feelings for her and decide whether you want to stay friends. Remember that you should never stay in a friendship if you expect something more from it.

#10. She may not be physically attracted to you:

Physical attraction is an essential factor when we are considering entering into a relationship with someone. It’s possible that she may not be physically attracted to you and wants to take some time apart to ensure that you are compatible before taking things further.

You should be supportive of her decision in this case. You can go to the gym together or try out new fashion styles for an attractive look that will make her feel more attracted to you.

#11. She may be intimidated by you:

Sometimes you can be too intense in a relationship, and this can cause your partners to feel intimidated or scared. She may have found you too intimidating and wants to take some time away to get used to being with someone like you.

You should try not to take offence if you feel you have been too intense in a relationship. Instead, you can take this as an opportunity to become friends and let her get used to you over time.

#12. She has been considering you as friends from the beginning:

Perhaps you and she were friends first, and that’s all she wants. Maybe there was potential, but you needed more time to be ready to commit. Or, it’s possible you two had an undefined relationship that suits her just fine.

In either case, you should respect her decision and remain friends. You can still maintain a good relationship without taking things further.

How to Respond When a Girl Says She Just Wants to be Friends: 5 Easy Ways

  • Don’t take it personally:

Just because a girl says she wants to be friends doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you. It could be that she’s not ready for a relationship or that she doesn’t think you’re suitable for her. Whatever the reason, don’t take it personally and move on.

  •  Be understanding:

If a girl says she wants to be friends, try to be understanding. She may have her reasons, and respecting her decision is important. Tell her you’re still interested in being friends and see if she changes her mind down the road.

  • Don’t pressure her:

It’s important not to pressure a girl into a relationship if she’s not ready. If she says she just wants to be friends, accept her decision and don’t try to convince her otherwise. If you do, it could ruin your chances of remaining friends.

  • Offer your support: 

If a girl is going through a tough time, offer your support as a friend. Tell her you’re there for her and offer to help in any way possible. This can be a great way to stay close even if she doesn’t want to pursue a romantic relationship at the moment.

  •  Keep your options open:

Just because a girl says she just wants to be friends doesn’t mean that you should give up on your romantic feelings for her entirely. Keep your options open and continue to pursue other girls while remaining friends with her. Who knows, she may eventually change her mind!

What to do when she wants to be just friends? This video discussion might be helpful to know more about it:

FAQs on We Dated, but Now She Just Wants to be Friends

What does it mean when a girl wants to be friends after dating?

“She just wants to be friends but she likes me.”

When a girl wants to be friends after dating, it can mean a few different things. Sometimes, it means that she isn’t ready for a relationship and wants to take things slow.

Other times, it might mean that she had fun dating but doesn’t see a future with the person. In either case, respecting the girl’s wishes and taking things at her pace is essential.

If you’re interested in maintaining a friendship, try to focus on your shared interests and get to know each other on a deeper level. With time, you may be able to build a solid and lasting friendship.

Why does she just want to be friends now?

“She doesn’t want a relationship but wants to be friends.”

After months of dating, you thought you and your partner were on the same page about the relationship. But then, out of nowhere, they told you they just wanted to be friends. Hearing those words can be confusing and hurtful, especially if you were hoping for a more committed relationship.

There are a few possible reasons why your partner may have suddenly decided that they only want to be friends. They may be facing personal challenges that are causing them to pull away from romantic relationships.

Or, they may simply have realised that they need more time to be ready for a serious commitment. Whatever the reason, respecting your partner’s decision and giving them the space they need is important.

If you’re still interested in pursuing a relationship with them, try to stay friendly and keep communication open. With time and patience, you may be able to get back on the same page again.

Can you be just friends with someone you dated?

“Considering being friends after dating?” It’s a common question and one that doesn’t have a simple answer. The truth is, it depends on the situation.

For example, if the relationship ended on good terms, it may be possible to remain friends. However, if betrayal or heartbreak is involved, it may be best to steer clear. Additionally, consider why you want to stay friends with your ex.

Things will likely become complicated if you’re simply trying to stay in their life for any reason other than friendship. Ultimately, whether or not you can be friends with an ex comes down on a case-by-case basis.

The best thing you can do is evaluate your feelings and intentions honestly and take things slow if you decide to give friendship a try.

What to do if she just wants to be friends?

We’ve all been there: you meet a girl, you exchange numbers, you go on a date, and then she Friend-zones you. It’s rough, especially if you liked her. But don’t despair!

There are ways to turn the Friend-zone into a Relationship-zone. First, understand why she wants to be friends in the first place. Is it because she’s not attracted to you? Or is it because she’s already in a relationship?

If it’s the former, then there’s not much you can do except move on. But if it’s the latter, there may still be hope. The key is to be her friend – but also let her know that you’re interested in more than friendship.

Be available when she needs someone to talk to, but also make sure to be flirty and subtly let her know that you’re interested in something more.

When a girl says let’s be friends and see where it goes?

“Girl says she just wants to be friends but still flirts.”

When a girl says let’s be friends and see where it goes, it usually means one of two things. The first possibility is that she’s not interested in you romantically but wants to remain friends. In this case, it’s best to accept her decision and move on.

There’s nothing wrong with being friends, but if you’re hoping for something more, it’s probably not worth your time. The second possibility is that she’s interested in you but is hesitant to pursue a relationship. This can be for various reasons – she may be afraid of getting hurt or want to take things slow.

In this case, it may be worth pursuing a friendship with her and seeing where it goes. If you’re interested in each other, the friendship will likely develop into something more. If not, you’ll at least have made a new friend.


So, there can be many reasons why you are in a situation where you dated, but now she just wants to be friends. You should take the time to assess your feelings and decide whether you want to stay friends.

You should always respect her decision, regardless of your decision, and try to stay friends with her. It is possible to have a good relationship without dating further.

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