I was surprised when my colleague Jackson told me, “my ex is with someone else but still contacts me.” It’s tough when your ex starts dating someone else but still contacts you. You may wonder why they are doing this and what you should do about it. Well, here have a reference for you.
My colleagues and I went on a work trip a few weeks ago. Jackson told me,
“I was in a relationship with Jennifer for two years before we separated over some petty arguments. She started seeing someone new a few days after the breakup. I was surprised when my ex was with someone else but still contacted me. I couldn’t figure out why she was in contact with me and what I should do now.”
This blog will benefit you if your current situation is like Jackson’s. I’ll go over the reasons why your ex might still contact you even though they are with someone else and give some advice on how to deal with it all.
My Ex is with Someone Else but Still Contacts Me: 9 Real Reasons
#1. Your ex is not over you:
“He is dating someone else but still contacts me.”
That is the reason. If your ex still contacts you even though they are with someone else, it could be a sign that they are not over you yet. They may still have feelings for you and want to stay in touch even though they’re now seeing someone new.
Also, if your ex is still in love with you, they may try to stay in your life in any way they can.
#2. Your ex wants to stay friends:
Another possibility is that your ex wants to stay friends. This may be the case if you had a good relationship and there was no bad blood between the two of you when you broke up. Your ex may genuinely care about you and want to maintain a friendship.
On the other hand, your ex may be using staying in touch as an excuse to keep tabs on you and make sure you don’t move on with someone else.
#3. Your ex is jealous:
“He chose someone else but still contacts me.”
Another reason could be that your ex is jealous. If your ex is still in contact with you, it could be a sign that they’re jealous of the fact that you’ve moved on and are happy with someone else. They may want to remind you that they are still around and ensure you don’t forget about them.
#4. Your ex may miss your attention:
If your ex liked having you around and focused on them, they might be with someone else but still contact you to get that feeling. Some people feed off of the attention others give them. Your ex may miss being the centre of your universe and want to feel special again.
#5. Your ex is afraid to be alone:
If your ex is afraid of being alone, they may try to stay in contact with you even though they are with someone else. They could be using communication as an excuse to keep you around and ensure that someone will be there for them when things don’t work out with their current partner.
Your ex may not want to be alone and might use you as a safety net if they need someone familiar and comforting to turn to when things don’t work out with their current relationship.
#6. Your ex may feel guilty:
Your ex may feel guilty about how things ended between you two and may want to make it up to you. They could contact you out of guilt to show that they still care about you even if the relationship didn’t work out.
Your ex might also feel bad for hurting you and might be trying to make it up to you by staying in touch.
#7. Your ex wants to stay close:
“Ex is with someone else but still has feelings for me.”
Sometimes, your ex is with someone else but still contacts you because they want to keep an emotional connection with you. Your ex may view you as a part of their life and want to keep that connection going even though they are now with someone new.
Your ex might be looking for validation from you or may simply want to keep in touch with someone who understands and cares about them.
#8. Your ex is trying to manipulate you:
Your ex may be using contact as a way to try and control or manipulate you. They may make you jealous by flaunting their new relationship or make you feel like they’re still in charge of the situation even though they’re now with someone else.
Your ex might also be trying to use contact as a way to keep tabs on your life and find out who you are seeing.
#9. Your ex may want to prove something:
Your ex could contact you because they want to prove something. They may be trying to show that they can still attract your attention even though they are now with someone else. Your ex may also be trying to prove that you are the one who made a mistake by ending the relationship.
My Ex is with Someone Else but Still Contacts Me: 5 Things You Can Do
#1. Avoid your ex and don’t respond:
“Ex is seeing someone else but wants to be friends.”
The first thing you can do if your ex contacts you after they’ve started seeing someone else is simply avoid them by not responding. This can be difficult, especially if you still have feelings for your ex, but remember that they are now in a new relationship, and you need to respect that.
If you respond to their messages or calls, you will only be giving them the attention they’re seeking and prolonging the inevitable. To avoid them, you can block their number, change your number, or block and unfriend them on social media.
#2. Keep yourself busy:
If your ex is with someone else but still contacts you, try to keep yourself busy and avoid thinking about them as much as possible. Find new hobbies, enjoy time with friends and family, and focus on taking care of yourself.
Filling your time with positive activities can help take the focus off of your ex and their new relationship.
#3. Set boundaries:
If you and your ex still need to communicate, it’s paramount that you set strict boundaries. You should make sure both of you are clear about what kind of contact is appropriate and what isn’t. By doing this, you will save yourself a lot of future heartaches.
You also need to be firm in sticking to those boundaries. If your ex crosses them, don’t hesitate to remind them of your expectations.
#4. Communicate with respect:
If you have decided to communicate with your ex, you must do so in a respectful manner. Remember that although the relationship didn’t work out, you still have a level of respect, which should be maintained.
End the conversation as soon as you feel it’s going too far or if your ex crosses any of the boundaries set.
#5. Get help from others:
Talking to a close friend or family member about what you are going through can be incredibly helpful. Having someone who can lend an ear and advise can make the situation more bearable and help you get through it in one piece.
You can also talk to a therapist or counsellor if you feel like you need someone to talk to who is unbiased and can provide guidance.
Know more about what happened; my ex is with someone else but still contacts me. You can understand 9 reasons why this happens by watching the below video:
FAQs on My Ex is with Someone Else but Still Contacts Me
Does no contact work if your ex is seeing someone else?
No contact generally refers to cutting off all communication with your ex after a breakup. The thinking here is that by breaking off contact, you’ll be able to miniaturise the pain of the breakup and eventually move on. But what if your ex is already seeing someone else? Does no contact still work in this case?
There’s no definitive answer, as each situation is unique. However, it’s worth considering that your ex may be using the new relationship as a way to cope with the pain of the breakup.
In this case, no contact may actually backfire, as it could cause your ex to feel even more attached to the new partner.
Alternatively, your ex may use the new relationship to make you jealous or get your attention. In this case, it’s probably best to stick with no contact.
Why is my ex texting me when he is in a relationship?
After a breakup, it can be confusing when your ex reaches out to you. After all, if they’re in a new relationship, shouldn’t they be focused on their new partner?
However, there are a few reasons your ex might be texting you even though they’re in a relationship. Maybe they’re feeling insecure in their new relationship and looking for reassurance from you. They might be in a dilemma to get back to you or choose another.
Or perhaps they’re hoping to reignite the flame and get back together with you. Whatever the reason, be honest with yourself about what you’re hoping for from the situation. If you’re just looking for closure or a way to move on, then replying to your ex’s texts is probably not going to help.
However, responding to their texts could be a first step towards rekindling your old relationship if you’re open to getting back together.
What does it mean if your ex still contacts you?
It could mean a few things if your ex still contacts you. They may be trying to stay friends, they may be trying to get back together with you, or they may be trying to test the waters to see if you’re still interested.
If you’re not interested in getting back together, be clear with your ex about your boundaries. Let them know that you’re not interested in continuing a romantic relationship but are open to remaining friends.
If they continue to pursue you romantically, it may be best to distance yourself from them. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what level of contact you’re comfortable with.
Do exes come back after dating someone else?
While there’s no surefire way to know if an ex will come back after dating someone else, some signs may indicate that they’re open to the idea of reconciling.
For example, if they reach out to you frequently or try to spend time with you when they know you’re available, it may be a sign that they’re interested in getting back together.
Additionally, if they express jealousy or insecurity when you talk about other people you’re dating, it could signify that they want to reclaim your attention.
Of course, it’s also possible that an ex may come back simply because they’re not happy with their current situation. So, while there are some potential indicators that an ex might want to get back together, there’s no guarantee that they’ll act on those feelings.
If your ex is with someone else but still contacts you, evaluate the situation objectively and decide on the best course of action for yourself. Remember that it’s ok to take some time away from your ex and focus on yourself.
If communication is needed, make sure to set boundaries and keep the conversations cordial. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to seek help if you feel it’s too much to handle on your own.
By following these tips, you should be able to navigate this difficult situation and come out to the other side with your dignity intact. Good luck!