10 Practical Reasons Why Does the Woman Always Get Custody

When a marriage ends, there is often a custody battle between the parents. The question of which parent should get custody is a difficult one. However, in most cases, the mother wins the battle.

Statistics show that only 12% of men receive sole or joint physical custody following separation or divorce proceedings in the United States today. Here, we will discuss the practical reasons behind this.

Why Does the Woman Always Get Custody

Why Does the Woman Always Get Custody – 10 Reasons

There are many reasons for what a court may think to allow sole physical custody to a woman over a man. Below, going to discuss ten practical reasons why most of the time, a woman wins the child custody battle:

#1. Mothers are traditionally seen as better caregivers:

In most states, family law judges favor granting women physical custody over men. Because mothers are usually seen as better caregivers than fathers.

Even though there is no argument about which gender can be good parents (and thus deserving of caregiving opportunities) when both genders are allowed the same opportunity to be good parents.

#2. Women are less aggressive than men:

If there has been any aggression in the home, a judge is more likely to award custody of children to mothers because they are seen as better than fathers at protecting their kids from further abuse.

But, we have seen different studies, and that’s why many people claim that women are more likely to alienate the child. They just forget that withholding a child from the other parent can backfire at anytime.

#3. They can ensure exceptional safety for the daughter child:

In some cases, courts favour awarding physical custody of a daughter child to women over males because they believe that moms will help their daughters become less vulnerable by teaching them how to maintain a low-key, submissive appearance and demeanour.

I have seen many cases where the boyfriend left the woman pregnant, but she gave birth and raised the child with total effort. Fathers usually want to take the financial responsibilities only.

#4. The controversial gender bias in the legal system:

The fact is that single mothers have raised most American judges. They were raised by a woman who was solely responsible for raising them, while their father played little to no role in their lives.

So, we are now very likely to see these judges rule from the perspective of what is best for children after divorce – and this often benefits single mothers more than it does fathers. The result? Single fathers get custody less frequently than single mothers do!

Furthermore, women have a long history of being stereotyped as better caregivers than men, and this stereotype still affects how judges make rulings today.

It was not until 1973 that California became one of only two states to pass legislation requiring gender-neutral consideration when making decisions about child custody and visitation rights.

It’s important to know that this biased system should be changed. Men and women should have the same rights in custody hearings. Instead of favoring mothers automatically, courts should focus on the child’s best interests according to the case’s context.

Law should be gender natural in practice, not only in the paper works. Watch the below discussion about gender bias in child custody. It will make sense some more points:

#5. Men are less likely to ask for full custody:

Usually, men show less interest than women in full custody. Instead, they prefer joint custody with visitation rights. Naturally, men spend most of their time out of the home.

For this, they are unavailable to provide care for their children. Instead of custody, they want to pay for child support as, generally, they are higher earners than mothers. Even maximum men want to drop the custody case.

Men often move out of the state due to their jobs or business, and it is difficult for the child to adjust to the new environment. That’s why fathers typically claim custody less. Instead, they prefer reasonable phone contact with the child.

Women, on the other hand, spend most of their time with their children. They are more involved in day-to-day activities and tasks, which makes them better suited for childcare. When a court sees less interest from a father, it doesn’t allow full custody of the father.

#6. Naturally, children are mom-friendly:

It seems that children are born with an innate preference for their mother. Mothers may be more likely than fathers to have a better relationship with their children following divorce because they often spend most of their time caring for them and providing emotional support.

While judging custody cases, this natural behaviour of the children impacts to allow the primary custody in favor of the woman.

#7. The soft career of the woman:

Women are more likely to be teachers, nurses, and caregivers in the medical field than men. These professions are generally lower paid but allow women to work flexible hours that fit their family and personal needs.

Even if a mother works full-time outside the house, she is still more likely than a father to take time off, such as for childbirth or care for the sick.

#8. Better network for child caring:

Women have better networks for the care of their children, including family members, friends, and other women who share the same goals as mothers in caring for their kids.

These connections help a mother keep her child safe and well taken care of, which is directly related to the child’s best interest. And, we know a court always decides custody cases based on the circumstances that ensure the child’s best interest.

#9. Less careen-oriented:

Usually, mothers are less career-oriented. Women typically have more free time than men because they prefer to work part-time or stay home with the kids while their male counterparts work full-time jobs.

This means mothers will have much extra time to spend on parenting activities when given joint physical custody rights.

#10. Fathers are less involved in child’s school functions:

A study found that fathers who lived apart from their children were less likely to be involved in school functions such as parent-teacher conferences, volunteering for class field trips, and classroom events like concerts or art exhibits.

These activities play an essential role in the growth of a child. So, while deciding custody cases, judges consider these options and usually award the primary custody to the mom.


Why does the woman always win custody battles? The answer to this question is simple: she’s a good mother. She takes care of her children and ensures they have what they need for better growth and life.

We criticize the legal system, but at the end of the day, the court tries to ensure a better circumstance for the child, and without the mom, no one can guarantee that best.

About Shakir Ahmed

Head of the editorial team. I hold a Bachelor of Laws (LL.B) from UoL. Written hundreds of articles on divorce, child custody, employment and other human rights law topics for blogs and websites worldwide. Worked 6 years as a relationship development trainer. For any communication regarding any legal matter, please feel free to email me at shakir@lawyersnlaws.com

9 thoughts on “10 Practical Reasons Why Does the Woman Always Get Custody”

    • Thank you for your opinion. But, that is the reality that naturally mothers have a higher level of caretaking capability and courts consider this reason very strongly while deciding contested custody cases. This isn’t necessarily based on gender bias; rather, it’s part of an effort to avoid bringing too much change into a child’s life. Not only by the court but in cases where both parents decided, without involvement from a mediator or the court 83% of the time the mother ended up with sole custody because the father chose to give her custody. So, that is the reality that still exists.

      • So which is it? Moms naturally are better caregivers or their shouldn’t be a gender bias? Seems like a contradiction to me. After reading the article, it is clear we are looking at a gender bias.

        After I divorced my ex (in Texas – I did the leaving) the default position at the time was mom gets primary custody and the dad gets every other weekend. If you push for it as the dad you may also get every Thursday (what logic is this?)

        I chose to think of the kids first when my ex vowed to go “scorched earth” on custody so I went along to get along. Less than 2 years later we switched to 50/50 custody (at the kid’s request). 50/50 should be the the default position. My ex tolerated my daughter lying to the police, theft, and vandalism. My daughter is 22 now and my ex just took her to Vegas for strip shows and drag queen brunch. Mother of the year, indeed.

        In retrospect the main reason my ex was willing to go scorched earth was because 50/50 would have reduced her child support proportionally.

        When we did go 50/50, I declined to fight over child support and continued to pay what I had when I got minimal visitation.

  1. I don’t think so once you see your son screwed over in a custody case you might change your mind. Not all women are born nurturers my grandson’s mom wasn’t. She focused on her medical school residency and didn’t live with her son for four years, yet she still got custody. Even moved her son two and a half hours away while his dad was on a trip. It wasn’t even considered child abduction since my son never married her and had no rights to his son. I do think a lot of male lawyers and judges view women as helpless victims in family court. It is sad.
    She lied a lot in court sadly she had the judge and lawyers in the palm or her hand.

  2. Women, with the exceptions of the violent, toxic, alcoholic and drug addicts, should get full custody of the child. Women spend a full nine months carrying a child in their womb. It’s the woman who goes through hormonal changes, all those pregnancy related symptoms – and some experience a lot more than bloating, throwing up, swollen legs and what not. A woman endures all those things for the sake of carrying a pregnancy to term, then giving birth and taking care of a child. Not to mention post natal depression etc. So why should ever a man get the full custody of a child? It’s as if you’re working hard and you give your full blood, sweat and tears for a project and someone else is given full credit for it.

    Yes, a responsible father should be able to visit and spend time with the child. Given he has some part in the whole pregnancy affair, it’s only fair he should contribute to that child’s well being, through child support. But when men complain about “ex wants full custody”, of course she does. Did you carry the child? A child both of you wanted – in case of a marriage or partnership. You do get to be involved in the child’s life but the mother is the mother. Again, unless she’s totally not good for the child- then of course the father should receive full custody.

  3. To the most recent poster. 9 months doesn’t make you a better parent. Joint custody even if it’s 60/40 should be the default unless one or both is a bad parent. To me a mother that wants full custody and feels that she owns the child should not be entitled to child support. You are basically saying that all men are good for is being ATM machines with legs. Why should a father have to be restricted to visitation? Is he not a parent as well? This is incredibly sexist.


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