No parent should go through the heartbreak of losing custody of their child. That’s why they ask, “how to cope with losing custody of a child?”
It’s a heartbreaking situation that many parents find themselves in, and knowing how you will cope with this life-changing event can be challenging. But there are ways to make things easier for yourself and your family, which is why I’m writing this post today.
15 Tips on How to Cope with Losing Custody of a Child
It’s difficult to imagine how you will ever cope with this loss, but there are many ways in which you can try to find some peace. Below, I will cover 15 tips for coping when losing custody of your child.
#1. Don’t blame yourself as a bad parent:
Remember that it is not your fault. You may feel guilty or responsible because of the circumstances which led to this happening. But remember that parenting isn’t about being perfect; it’s about doing what feels right and best in every situation.
Frequently, these decisions are challenging, so blaming yourself will only lead to more emotional distress without relief from guilt or shame. There are many good mothers losing custody, where it is assumed women win the custody battle automatically.
#2. Take legal action to reverse the decision:
Yes, there is a possibility of that. But, you first have to identify that the judge revoked your right to child custody. Usually, a court does that for abuse or neglect, child abandonment, and loss of contact with the child.
Modify your culprit behavior, take all the proof of your change as evidence, and talk with the attorney to move on to court. The overall procedures vary from state to state. An expert lawyer can help you on this point.
If the judge finds that your changes are coped with the child’s best interests, he/she may reverse the previous decision. Be happy and prepare yourself to protect against child alienation.
#3. Accepting the situation will make your life easier:
If you reverse the petition denied by the court, accept that. I know this is very tough in this situation. But, try your best to take it. You can’t deny the court order.
Be happy for at least you have the visitation right, and you can see and communicate with your child according to schedule.
#4. Stay connected with your child:
Stay connected with your child(ren). This one is about staying in contact with the other parent and ensuring that they know you’re there for them when a challenging moment arises. Let them know how much we love them, even if we can’t spend time together just yet.
You can send cards or call weekly to ensure things are going well. Stopping contact with a child after losing custody is the worst decision. Indeed, your child is not physically with you. But, give them a feeling that you are always with them mentally.
#5. Support your child in their thought time:
Support your children through their struggles, too (if they’re old enough). It can be beneficial if someone has a close relationship with both parents when one loses custody of the child(ren).
Especially during turbulent times like the lengthy divorce proceedings and legal battles over who should have custodial rights. Acknowledge the other parent’s need to be involved in raising their children, and take an active role in this.
Losing a child is always pathetic. If you’ve ever lost a child in a custody battle, this video will help to transform you:
#6. Take care of your physical health:
Try taking care of your physical health first; this could help with emotional healing at some point down the line.
This one is about taking care of our physical health by eating right, exercising, or any other healthy routine that can be done when one has more time outside work hours. You have to be fit physically to win the mental game.
#7. Talk about your feelings with someone trusted:
If there is any person you can speak to openly and honestly about what it feels like for them, then they are an excellent candidate to talk through your feelings and emotions following losing custody of your child(ren).
This will also provide some relief or release from emotional burdens that may have been weighing on you for a while now. Talking things out (even if just once) can help so much!
#8. Get help from support groups:
Find support groups online specifically designed for parents who lost custody. They know better how to cope without seeing your child. Many forums and websites provide understanding and empathy from others who have experienced the same thing.
This can be a great way to find some solace and relief from your pain, as other people will understand what you’re going through due to their own experiences of being in this situation.
#9. Create your support network:
Create your support network with other parents who are going through or have gone through what you’re currently experiencing. There are online communities like this FB group where you can find people in similar situations.
They understand what you’re feeling like; maybe try finding one close by so there won’t be any travel required outside work hours.
#10. Seek professional support:
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Things have become more complicated if this has been affecting you.
To cope with these emotions on your own, seeking professional assistance from a therapist will be beneficial as they can process what happened and how best to move forward.
#11. Find a new hobby:
This is about finding something else to do besides just sitting around the house daily. Find some activity or project you can work on, such as crafts or baking (these options are for those who have more time during off-hours).
You’ll feel less isolated by doing this. Plus, there’s always someone willing to help without questions if it doesn’t come naturally.
#12. Focus on healing instead of grieving:
The goal here isn’t “moving on” – the goal is “moving forward.” This means taking care of ourselves, getting needed help, and using mental health resources to get through this difficult time. I know it’s easier to say than do.
But, we must remember that for healing (and moving on) to happen, sometimes grieving must occur first. It’s a harsh realization, but it will help everything down the line.
There are many ways to meditate; they’re all beneficial for reducing stress and anxiety. If you find that meditation is something you enjoy doing or get some benefit from in other areas of your life, try it out when feeling sad about losing custody of a child(ren).
This may help alleviate the sadness by giving the mind a break from negative thoughts that might keep them stuck in their grieving period.
#14. Find a way to be productive:
Taking on some new projects or continuing old ones may help you feel better, as it will make you feel like you’re not having any time pass by without making progress – even if that’s just cleaning the house!
This will also give your mind something else to focus on other than how unfair or difficult this has been for you.
#15. Remember this isn’t permanent:
It will get better eventually. We must remember that these feelings of being lost without our children aren’t permanent.
Because at some point (the sooner, the better), all of the pain from losing custody will go away, but until then, we need to try and make the best of it. It will get better.
I hope you found these tips helpful! This is a long way to go. You have to be patient and focus on your goal of coping with the new truth of your life. Time will help you to make everything easy. Best of luck.