Trauma of Mother Losing Custody of Child: 6 Ways to Cope Up

The trauma of mother losing custody of child is like the worst nightmare for many mothers. When a mother loses custody of her child, it can be a traumatic experience. The pain and heartache of this type of loss can be overwhelming. 

For such a mother, it can be challenging to cope with. Although this pain never goes away, there are ways that you can deal with the trauma and start rebuilding her life!

Before going further, let me share a sad story:

Isabella Palmar is my neighbour, who has been married for six years. She had a beautiful daughter named Emily. Three months ago, she divorced her husband after knowing he had an affair with his colleague.

Emily was only four years old at that time. Isabella fought for the custody of her daughter in court. Still, she lost because her financial condition was insufficient to support Emily.

Isabella’s trauma started when she had to say goodbye to her daughter. Emily was very attached to her mother, and it killed Isabella inside to see her daughter crying and asking for her while she had to walk away.

It has been three months since Isabella lost custody of her daughter, and she is still struggling to cope with the trauma. After talking to her, I understood what kind of situation she was going through.

So I suggested to her below six ways that can help any mother who is struggling to cope with the trauma of losing custody of her child:

trauma of mother losing custody of child

Trauma of Mother Losing Custody of Child: 6 Ways to Cope Up

#1. Be surrounded by other family members:

The trauma of losing custody of a child can be incredibly isolating for a mother. You may feel like you are the only one going through this pain. And no one can understand you.

To help you feel better, you must surround yourself with other family members who can provide emotional support. Spend time with them, talk about your feelings, and let them help you through this tough time.

They know what you are dealing with and will be a great support system for you. Moreover, being around other people will help take your mind off the trauma.

#2. Get therapy:

Another way to cope with the trauma is to get therapy. This will provide a safe space to discuss your feelings and thoughts.

Consulting with a therapist is a great way to work through the trauma and start moving on with your life. A therapist can also help you develop coping mechanisms to deal with the trauma. After starting taking therapy now, Isabella is feeling better.

Suppose you don’t feel comfortable talking to a therapist. In that case, you can also consider joining a support group for mothers who have lost custody of their children. This can be a great way to connect with other mothers who are going through the same thing as you.

You can share your stories, support each other, and help each other cope with the trauma.

#3. Talk with the child regularly:

Just because you don’t have custody of your child doesn’t mean you can’t talk with them regularly. It’s just a proceeding to keep your child with you that you lose. After losing custody, you have all the right to talk with your child and spend time with them.

Make sure to set up regular communication times with your child. This can be through video calls, phone calls, or even text messages. Staying in contact with your child and letting them know that you still love them and care about them is crucial.

Through this connection, you can still be a part of your child’s life. Moreover, this will also help you cope with the trauma as you will feel happy to talk with your child and see them doing well.

#4. Be well for your child:

Remember, it’s about the life of your child. So you have to be there for your child in every situation. Never give up on yourself and your life just because you lost the custody of your child.

Not only are you going through bad times, but your child is also in trauma. After you and your husband divorce, your child is the most affected person.

It might be difficult for you to see your child going through tough times. But remember, they need you and your support right now. So be there for them and help them get through this trauma.

Moreover, by being there for your child, you will also feel better and can start to heal from the bad times you are going through.

#5. Do other activities:

While spending time with your family and discussing your feelings is essential, you must also focus on other aspects of your life.

So often, when you are going through a tough time, the mind can’t help but obsess over what happened. It also gives you negative thinking about the future. This can be incredibly detrimental to your mental and emotional well-being.

To help you cope with the trauma, you must do other activities that you enjoy and make you feel good. This can be anything from reading, going for walks, listening to music, or watching your favourite TV show.

Consider hobbies that you enjoy or have always wanted to try. This can be anything from painting to hiking to cooking. By keeping yourself busy with other activities, you can give your mind a much-needed break from trauma and allow yourself to heal in both body and spirit.

Furthermore, it’s critical to look after your body during this time. Eat nutritious meals and exercise regularly. Get enough sleep as well. Taking care of your body also helps you take care of your mind.

#6. Be a good co-parent:

If you have joint custody of your child, you must be a good co-parent. This means working with the other parent to ensure your child has what they need. Bad co-parenting is one of the reasons to lose child custody.

Working with the other parent after a divorce or losing custody can be difficult. However, it’s important to remember that your child needs both of you.

Try to set aside your differences and work together for the sake of your child. This can help reduce the trauma that your child is feeling. In addition, it will also help you feel better as you know that you are doing what’s best for your child.

This video discussion might be helpful to know more about how a mother can lose custody of her child.

FAQs on Trauma of Mother Losing Custody of Child

What happens when a mother is separated from her child?

When a mother is separated from her child, it can have a profound and lasting effect on both parties. The mother may experience intense feelings of sadness, anxiety, and guilt, as well as difficulty sleeping and concentrating.

She may also become withdrawn or irritable. In some cases, the separation can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder. As for the child, he or she may also experience sadness, anxiety, and guilt.

In addition, the child may have trouble sleeping, become more clingy or withdrawn, or cry more often than usual. Separation can also lead to behavioural problems later in life.

Therefore, it is clear that separation between a mother and child can have far-reaching consequences. Studies have shown that when a mother is separated from her child, both the mother and the child experience a decrease in levels of the hormone oxytocin.

Oxytocin is sometimes called the “cuddle hormone” or the “bonding hormone” because it helps people get close to each other and form close relationships.

Thankfully, many organisations work to reunite mothers and children who have been separated. These organizations provide essential support to families during difficult times.

How can a mother lose a custody battle in Texas?

While the courts in Texas are typically loathing to take children away from their mothers, several circumstances can lead to a mother losing custody of her children.

One common scenario is when the father can demonstrate that the mother is unfit to care for her children. This might be due to drug or alcohol abuse, mental illness, or a history of domestic violence.

In such cases, the court will typically award custody to the father unless he can also be demonstrated as an unfit parent.

Another scenario in which a mother might lose custody is if she is perceived to be alienating the father from the children. This might occur if she repeatedly speaks poorly of the father in front of the children or tries to turn them against him.

If a mother is found to be doing this, it will likely hurt her custody case.

Lastly, a mother might lose custody if she moves out of state without the father’s consent. If this occurs, the father can petition the court for an emergency order awarding him primary custody.

While these are some of the most common scenarios in which a mother might lose custody of her children in Texas, it is important to note that each case is unique. The outcome will depend on the specific facts and circumstances involved.

What happens if a mother violates a court order?

A court order is a legally binding document that outlines the conditions of a custody arrangement. If a mother violates court order, she may be held in contempt of court.

The consequences for contempt of court can vary depending on the severity of the violation. Still, they may include fines, jail time, or a modification to the custody arrangement.

In some cases, a mother may be able to explain her actions to the court and avoid penalties. Still, it is always best to follow a court order to avoid potential legal repercussions.

What happens to mothers who lose custody of their children?

A child’s loss of custody can be devastating for a mother. Not only does it mean the loss of her daily contact with her child, but it also carries the shame and stigma of being an unfit mother. She also has to deal with the fear that she may never see her child again.

The loss of custody can also profoundly affect a mother’s mental health, leading to depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts.

In addition, a mother who loses custody of her child may also lose her income, as she can no longer receive child support payments. As a result, she may find herself struggling to make ends meet. The loss of custody of a child is an incredibly difficult thing for any mother to go through.

How do you deal with not being able to see your children?

After losing child custody, the most difficult thing for a parent to deal with is not being able to see their children. It can be an extremely heartbreaking and frustrating experience.

Every day feels like a battle, and it can be hard to find any joy or hope. The sense of loss and loneliness can be overwhelming. However, it is important to remember that you are not alone.

Many other parents have gone through the same thing. You can find support from them and learn how they have coped with their situation.

Many resources are available to help you manage your pain and adjust to your new life. You can get through this difficult time with time, patience, and support.


There is no doubt the trauma of a mother losing custody of her child can be complicated to cope with. However, there are ways to get through this tough time. 

If you or someone you know, like Isabela, is struggling with this trauma, consider seeking professional help. With the right support from family and friends, it is possible to heal and move on from this trauma.

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