How to respond to an ex asking how you are? Undoubtedly, it’s a difficult moment. Should you be cold and distant? Friendly and upbeat? On the one hand, you may want to be polite and cordial. But on the other hand, you may not want anything to do with them anymore.
There are many ways to approach this situation, but which is the right one for you? Here I will discuss 15 ways you can respond to an ex who asks how you are doing. Hopefully, one of these responses will fit your situation and help you maintain a civil relationship with your ex!
How to Respond to an Ex Asking How You Are: 15 Simple Ways
My school friend Oliver recently met me to share his confusing moment. According to him:
“I met with Silvia around seven years ago. We had a good time together, but things didn’t work out. We both moved on and never talked again, at least until now. She saw me in the mall yesterday and stopped to ask me how I was doing, and it was hard to ignore her. So I just said, ‘I’m doing fine!’
But, after that sudden meeting, she repeatedly asks the same questions via email and text. I am feeling stuck and don’t know how to respond. Can you please advise me?”
Here are 15 simple, easy ways to respond to an ex who asks how you are:
#1. Give a brief update:
If your ex reaches out and asks how you are, it is okay to give them a brief update on what has been going on in your life. You could say you’ve been busy with work or school or spending time with friends and family. There is no need to go into immense detail, just enough so they know that you’re doing well.
#2. Ask how they are in return:
If your ex asks how you are, you can ask how they are in return. This is a polite way to show that you are interested in their life and still care about them. It is also an excellent way to gauge their level of interest in you; if they seem disinterested in your life, it may be a sign that they have moved on and are happy with your new partner, even if it is a rebound relationship.
#3. Keep it short and sweet:
When responding to your ex’s question, it is best to keep your answer short and sweet. There is no need to go into great detail about your life, as this will only give your ex more information than they need. Additionally, long-winded answers can be seen as needy or desperate, which is not the image you want to portray.
#4. Be positive:
Be positive when responding to your ex’s questions, as this will show them that you are doing well without them. Focusing on the negative aspects of your life will only make your ex feel guilty or regretful for leaving you. Instead, focus on the positive things in your life, such as your friends, hobbies, or accomplishments.
#5. Be honest:
Being honest is as crucial as being positive when you answer your ex’s questions. If you try to paint a picture of a perfect life that doesn’t exist, your ex will eventually find out the truth, damaging your credibility. So instead of lying about how great your life is without them, be honest about both the good and the bad parts of your life since the breakup.
If you still miss her, don’t hesitate to express that. She might not care about your missing her. But you should be honest with yourself.
#6. Avoid talking about the past:
Avoid talking about the past when responding to your ex’s question, as this will only reopen old wounds and cause unnecessary pain. Instead, focus on the present and the future, and let your ex know what you have been up to lately and what plans you have for the future.
This will show them that you have moved on from the past and that you are focused on building a new life without them.
#7. Don’t bring up the breakup:
Avoid talking about the breakup when your ex asks how you are doing. This will only remind them of the pain and hurt they felt during the breakup, making them less likely to want to reconcile with you. If you want to get back together with your ex, it is best to avoid discussing the breakup.
#8. Don’t get into a fight:
If your ex asks how you are, resist the urge to get into a fight with them. This will only worsen the situation and show them that you are still not over the breakup. If you are feeling angry or upset, it is best to take a deep breath and calm down before responding to your ex.
#9. Don’t be rude:
Even if you are feeling angry or hurt, avoid being rude when your ex asks how you are. This will only make them defensive and damage any chances of reconciling with them in the future. It is best to ignore their question if you can’t respond politely.
#10. Don’t talk about your love life:
When responding to your ex’s question, avoid talking about your love life, as this will only make them jealous or resentful. If you are dating someone new, your ex may feel threatened by this, damaging your chances of getting back together.
So instead of talking about your love life, focus on other aspects of your life such as your friends, hobbies, or work.
#11. Don’t play games:
When responding to your ex’s questions, avoid playing games with them, as this will only worsen the situation. If you try to make your ex jealous or play hard to get, they may become frustrated and give up on reconnecting with you. So instead of playing games, be honest and open with your ex about how you feel.
#12. Don’t be too available:
If you are always available to talk to your ex, they may take you for granted and not see the need to reconcile with you. So instead of being too available, try to keep some distance between you and your ex. This will make them miss you more and increase their chances of wanting to get back together with you.
#13. Don’t be too needy:
Similarly, if you constantly call or text your ex, they may feel suffocated and pull away from you. So instead of being too needy, give your ex some space and allow them to come to you when they are ready.
#14. Don’t force the issue:
If you try to force the issue with your ex, they may feel pressured and not be ready to reconcile with you. So instead of pushing for reconciliation, let your ex take the lead and follow their pace. This will give them the time and space they need to get back together.
#15. Don’t bring up the future:
Avoid discussing the future when responding to your ex’s questions, as this will only make them uncomfortable. If you start talking about getting back together or getting married, your ex may feel pressured, and they may need more time to be ready to commit.
So instead of bringing up the future, focus on the present and take things one day at a time.
10 Things You Can Say in Response to an Ex Asking How You Are
How do you reply when your ex asks how you are? If you don’t know what to say when your ex asks how you are, here are ten statements to help.
1. I’m doing great; thanks for asking!
2. I’m enjoying my life and doing what I love; thanks for asking!
3. I’m taking things one day at a time; thanks for asking!
4. I’m hanging in there; thanks for asking!
5. I’ve been better, but I’m still trucking along; thanks for asking!
6. It’s been a tough few weeks/months/years, but I’m still standing; thanks for asking!
7. I don’t want to talk about it, but thanks for asking!
8. Thanks for caring enough to ask!
9. That’s sweet of you to ask; thank you!
10. Your concern means a lot to me; thank you for asking how I am!
How to respond to an ex asking how you are? I hope the below discussion will guide you properly:
FAQs on How to Respond to an Ex Asking How You Are
What does it mean when an ex asks how you are?
“Why does my ex want to know how I’m doing?”
When an ex asks how you are, there could be a few different explanations. They might genuinely be interested in your well-being and want to catch up. Or, they might feel nostalgic and think about the good times you had together.
It’s also possible that they are trying to gauge whether you are single or not and whether there might be a chance for getting back together. If you’re not interested in getting back together, it’s best to be honest, and let them know you’re doing fine.
If they continue to pursue you, it’s best to politely but firmly let them know that you’re not interested. Exes can be tricky, but it’s essential to set boundaries so that you can both move on.
Why does my ex want to know how I’m doing?
There are a few reasons your ex might want to know how you’re doing or do you miss her. Maybe they’re feeling nostalgia and wondering how you’re doing in light of the pandemic. Maybe they want to see if you’ve moved on and are happy without them. Or maybe they’re just curious about what you’re up to nowadays.
Whatever the reason, remember that you don’t owe your ex an update on your life. If you don’t want to talk to them, you don’t have to. You can simply say you’re doing well and leave it at that.
There’s no need to go into detail about your personal life or share information they don’t need to know. Just be polite and brief, and then move on with your day.
Should you respond to a text from an ex?
When you get a text from an ex, it can be tempting to respond immediately. However, you should consider a few things before hitting “send.”
First, why did you break up in the first place? If there were trust issues or communication problems, it is probably best to avoid getting back in touch.
Second, how long has it been since the breakup? If it was recent, you might still feel raw and vulnerable. Give yourself time to heal before getting in contact with your ex.
Finally, what are your motivations for responding? If you are hoping to get back together, then you should think carefully about whether or not that is really what you want.
If you decide to respond to a text from your ex, do so with caution and be prepared for any possible outcome.
How do you respond to an ex that still loves you?
One of the hardest things to deal with in life is an ex that still loves you. It can be incredibly confusing and upsetting, especially if you have moved on. Remember that you have a right to your feelings and experiences, and you should not feel guilty for not reciprocating your ex’s feelings.
If you are dealing with an ex that still loves you, the best thing to do is to be honest with them. Explain that you have moved on and that you are happy with your new life. If they can’t accept that, it may be best to end the conversation.
However, if they are willing to listen and respect your decision, you may be able to stay friends. Remember, though, that it is okay to put your well-being first, and you should not feel obligated to stay in a relationship with someone who does not respect your decisions.
How do you respond when an ex reaches out after no contact?
It depends on your current relationship status, your relationship with this person, and the reason for the no-contact rule in the first place. If you are still friends with this person, responding may be okay.
However, if you are not on good terms or if the no-contact rule was instituted for a specific reason (e.g., to heal from a toxic relationship), it may be best to ignore the message or politely decline.
Sometimes, blocking the person from your social media accounts or changing your phone number may be necessary. How to respond after a long gap in communication should be based on what is best for you and your mental health.
How to respond to an ex who hurt you?
Dealing with an ex can be difficult, especially if they hurt you during the relationship. You might feel angry, hurt, and frustrated, and it can be tough to know how to respond. However, there are a few things you can do to help you deal with the situation.
First, talk to somebody about what happened. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or therapist, talking to somebody can help you process your feelings and start to move on.
Also, give yourself time to heal. This means taking care of yourself emotionally and physically. Spend time with friends and loved ones, do things that make you happy, and be patient with yourself.
Finally, don’t hesitate to contact your ex if you need closure. While it might be difficult, it can help you move on from the hurt they caused.
Conclusion:
So, when your ex asks how you are, there are a few things that you should keep in mind. Avoid talking about the past or the breakup, as this will only remind them of the pain and hurt they felt during the breakup. Also, don’t beg or plead with your ex, as this will only make you look desperate and needy.
In addition, don’t play games with your ex, as this will only worsen the situation. And finally, don’t bring up the future, as this will only make your ex uncomfortable. If you follow these tips, you can respond to your ex calmly, collectedly, and respectfully.