Mediation with a Narcissist: 7 Easy Tips to Make It Work

When it comes to mediation with a narcissist, things can get a little tricky. After all, narcissists are known for being challenging to deal with and for often having trouble empathising with others.

However, there are some things that you can do to make the process easier – and to increase your chances of achieving a successful outcome. Today, I will discuss seven tips to help you effectively mediate with a narcissist!

mediation with a narcissist

Mediation with a Narcissist: 7 Easy Tips to Make It Working

How do mediation with a narcissist? Follow the below steps to make a successful mediation with a narcissist:

#1. Contract good lawyer:

Have a good lawyer on your side when dealing with a narcissistic individual, as they may try to manipulate or take advantage of the situation. If you don’t have money to hire a lawyer, you may get one from the government organizations.

Having an experienced legal representative can also help ensure that any agreements made during mediation are fair and legally binding. Also, if the narcissist has a lawyer, having your own can level the playing field and protect your interests.

#2. Document everything:

Narcissists tend to twist the truth or even outright lie, so make the document of all communication and discussions during the mediation process. Keep records of emails, texts, and notes from meetings or phone calls. You would be surprised to know that even WhatsApp call lists are nowadays accepted by the courts.

This not only protects you in case of future disputes but can also provide valuable evidence if the narcissist tries to deny or change their statements in mediation. It will also help to prove your case to the mediator if necessary.

#3. Set boundaries: 

During mediation with a narcissist, you and the other person must set clear limits.

For example, if they tend to be verbally abusive or aggressive, let them know that this kind of behaviour won’t be accepted. Tell them what will happen if they keep doing it (like leaving the mediation session).

On your end, set personal boundaries to protect your mental and emotional well-being. This may include taking regular breaks during the process or having a support person present with you.

#4. Don’t engage in their games: 

Narcissists often try to control those around them by playing games. They may try to make you feel guilty or manipulate you into doing something they want. So avoid engaging in their games and calling them out when they’re trying to control you.

Remind yourself that it’s not your responsibility to fix or please the narcissist – and hold firm in standing up for what you want and need during the mediation process.

#5. Be assertive: 

To effectively mediate with a narcissist, communicate assertively. This means being firm and direct in your statements and standing up for your rights without being aggressive or confrontational.

Remember to stay calm during discussions – getting angry or emotional will only fuel the narcissist’s behaviour and can derail the mediation process.

#6. Keep yourself cool: 

Dealing with a narcissist can be draining and frustrating, so make sure to take care of yourself during the mediation process.

Take breaks as needed, practice self-care, and seek support from loved ones or a therapist if necessary. Maintain your emotional well-being while navigating this situation.

#7. Don’t take things personally: 

It can be difficult but try not to take the narcissist’s words or actions personally during mediation. Otherwise, it can lead to feelings of anger and resentment – which can harm the process. Actually, their reaction starts from the time of the divorce, as narcissists usually don’t accept the divorce.

Understand that their behaviour results from their insecurities and issues – it has nothing to do with you. This will help you stay grounded and focused on resolving the process.

Do you want to do mediation with the narcissist? If Yes, watch the below video to learn the details:

FAQs on Mediation with a Narcissist

What not to say in child custody mediation?

Parents often face a difficult decision when it comes to child custody. Some couples can agree independently, but others find it necessary to involve a mediator. If you find yourself in mediation, there are certain things you should avoid saying to increase the chances of a successful outcome.

One thing to avoid is making threats. This includes threats of legal action or threats to take away visitation rights. Another thing to avoid is speaking negatively about your ex-partner. This can make reaching an agreement more difficult and damage your relationship moving forward.

Above all, be respectful of the other parent and of the process itself. Avoid making accusations or personal attacks, and resist the urge to use mediation to vent your frustrations. Avoid speaking in absolutes. For example, don’t say you will never agree to joint custody.

Instead, try to stay open-minded and keep the lines of communication open. Focus on finding a solution that is in your child’s best interests. By remaining calm and constructive, you can help create an atmosphere that is conducive to reaching a fair agreement.

How do you argue effectively with a narcissist?

Dealing with a narcissist can be a challenging and frustrating experience. Narcissists are often self-centred and insensitive to the needs of others. They may also be quick to anger and resistant to compromise. However, there are some strategies you can use to argue effectively with a narcissist.

First, try to stay calm and avoid getting defensive or angry. This will only give the narcissist more ammunition to use against you. Second, ensure you have all the facts straight before you start arguing. Narcissists often distort the truth to win an argument, so you must be well-informed.

Finally, be prepared to compromise. Narcissists often see any concession on your part as a victory, so try to choose your battles carefully. If you can keep these tips in mind, you may be able to argue effectively with a narcissist.

How do you outsmart a narcissist in court?

If you find yourself in the unfortunate position of having to go to court against a narcissist, there are several ways to crush a narcissist in negotiation.

First, understand how a narcissist thinks. They are often charming and persuasive and will try to use these qualities to their advantage in court.

They may also try to gaslight you or make you question your own memory of events. Stay calm and be prepared with evidence that can counter their arguments.

Second, be aware of their tactics and not let yourself be drawn into them. A narcissist may try to provoke you or play on your emotions to throw you off balance. Again, staying calm and focused on the facts can help you stay one step ahead.

Have a strong support system in place. A narcissist will often try to isolate their victim, but having a supportive network of family and friends can make all the difference.

What are the disadvantages of mediation?

While mediation can be an effective way to resolve disputes, some potential disadvantages should be considered.

One of the most significant drawbacks is that mediation requires the cooperation of both parties. Mediation is only possible if one person is willing to work toward a resolution. In addition, mediation can be time-consuming and expensive, mainly if it requires the services of a trained mediator.

Finally, mediation is confidential, meaning any agreement reached cannot be used as evidence in court. As a result, mediation may not be the best option for cases that involve serious legal issues.

What should you avoid in mediation?

In any mediation, remember that there are certain things that you should avoid.

First and foremost, you should avoid being argumentative. This means that you should not try to debate or disprove the other person’s points. Instead, it would be best to focus on listening to what they have to say and understanding their position.

Secondly, you should also avoid being defensive. This means that you should not get defensive when the other person brings up specific points or incidents. Instead, it would help if you tried to understand why they are bringing these up and what they are hoping to accomplish by doing so.

Finally, you should also avoid making any demands on the other person. This means you should not force them to agree to anything. Instead, you should let them know your expectations and then allow them to decide if they are willing to meet them.

By avoiding these three things, you will be more likely to reach a successful resolution in your mediation.

Who is mediation not suitable for?

Mediation is an alternative dispute resolution process in which a mediator helps the parties to reach a mutually agreed upon resolution. It is a voluntary process, and both parties must be willing to participate in good faith.

Mediation is typically unsuitable for cases involving domestic violence, child abuse, or other forms of coercion, as it relies on the parties being able to communicate openly and honestly.

In addition, mediation may only be appropriate if one of the parties is comfortable communicating in a cooperative setting or if there is a power imbalance between the parties.

If you are unsure whether mediation is appropriate for your situation, you should consult with an attorney or qualified mediator.

How to deal with a narcissistic husband?

Narcissism is a trait marked by a high opinion of oneself and a strong need to be admired. People with narcissism often have trouble dealing with criticism or setbacks and may feel like they deserve more than they do.

These traits can make it challenging to maintain healthy relationships. If you are married to a narcissist, you may feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells, trying to avoid triggering your partner’s anger or hurt feelings.

However, there are some things you can do to deal with a narcissistic husband.

First, try to avoid taking your husband’s behaviour personally. Narcissists often lash out because they feel insecure, so try not to take their criticisms to heart.

Second, set clear boundaries with your husband and stick to them. Be assertive to maintain a healthy relationship with a narcissist.

Finally, make sure to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. It can be draining to deal with a narcissist, so it is important to practice self-care to stay sane.

What does it mean to fight with a narcissist?

Narcissists are notoriously challenging to deal with. They are excessively self-involved and have little regard for the feelings of others.

When faced with a conflict, they often resort to manipulation and coercion to get their way. This can make it extremely difficult to resolve disagreements, and even the most minor dispute can quickly escalate into a full-blown argument.

Narcissists are also quick to anger and can be highly defensive when challenged. As a result, fights with narcissists often require a delicate balance of assertiveness and diplomacy.

It is crucial to stand up for yourself and set boundaries, but it is also important to avoid triggering their narcissistic rage. Ultimately, fighting with a narcissist is an exercise in patience and self-control.

Will a narcissist fight for child custody?

In the context of divorce, child custody can be a fraught issue. The situation can become even more complex if one spouse is a narcissist.

Narcissists are known for their manipulative tendencies and may use their children as pawns to gain the upper hand in divorce proceedings.

They may also try manipulating the court system to get what they want. In some cases, narcissists may even go so far as to accuse their ex-partner of abuse to gain custody falsely.

While it is impossible to say for sure whether or not a narcissist will fight for child custody, being aware of the potential for manipulation and deception is mandatory.

If you are going through a divorce and are concerned about your spouse’s narcissistic tendencies, seek experienced legal counsel to help you protect your rights and interests.


Mediating with a narcissist can be difficult, but by following these tips and taking care of yourself, you can navigate the process effectively.

Remember to have an excellent legal representative on your side, document everything, set boundaries, and don’t engage in their games. Communicate assertively and don’t take things personally – ultimately, prioritise your well-being and stand up for what you want and need.

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