What to Say to Alienated Child: 8 Things to Say to Get Back the Child

What to say to alienated child? It can be confusing and upsetting when a child becomes alienated from one or both parents. Although every kiddo is unique and therefore requires personalised approaches, some general tips may help rebuild the relationship.

In this article, I am going to discuss eight possible things to say to an alienated child to get them back or make amends!

what to say to alienated child

What to Say to Alienated Child: 8 Things to Say to Get Back the Child

#1. “I’m sorry.”

The first thing you need to do is apologise. It doesn’t matter who was right or wrong; the fact is that your relationship with your child has been damaged, and it’s going to take some work to repair it.

By apologising, you’re showing your child that you’re willing to take responsibility for your part in the problem and that you’re committed to fixing things. I know you didn’t do any wrong. But, still, a simple sorry will make the difference.

#2. “I love you.”

This might seem obvious, but it’s necessary to say it anyway. Your child needs to know that you still love them, even though things are tough right now. Let them know you’re there for them and will always be their parent, no matter what.

Further, assure them that your love for them isn’t conditional on their actions or feelings towards you. It will help your child feel more secure in the relationship.

#3. “I’m here for you.”

Let your child know that you’re always there for them. Let them know that they can come to you with anything, no matter what it is. Reassure them that you’ll always be willing to talk and work things out.

This can involve setting aside regular time specifically for your relationship with them, whether it’s weekly check-ins, regularly scheduled visits, or phone calls. Further, It can include actively listening to and understanding their feelings, even if they’re difficult or hurtful.

#4. “We can get through this together.”

Preventing parental alienation is hard. Repairing a relationship with an alienated child is more complicated. But remind them that you’re in it for the long haul. No matter how difficult it gets, this isn’t something you’ll give up on.

Show them you’re willing to work through any issues and repair the relationship together. Tell them you’ll support them and offer solutions or resources for any challenges they may face.

#5. “Let’s talk about this.”

Sometimes, apologising and saying the right things are not enough. Your child may need to talk about what happened and their feelings. Offer to talk with them about what went wrong in the relationship and what can be done to fix it.

Be willing to listen, validate their emotions, and offer solutions together. Make sure the conversation is two-way, so be willing to talk about your feelings and mistakes.

#6. “I miss you.”

Let your child know how much their absence has affected you. Remind them of the good times and happy memories you’ve shared together. This can help them remember the positive aspects of the relationship and may make them more open to repairing it.

Admit that you miss having a close relationship with your child, tell them how much they mean to you, and explain how much happier you are when things are going well between the two of you.

#7. “I’m sorry for my part in this.”

Apologise not only generally but also specifically for what you did wrong. Take responsibility for your actions and mistakes that contributed to the alienation. Let your child know that you realise how your actions may have contributed to the problem and that you’re sorry for any pain or hurt you may have caused.

Also, let your child know what you will do to prevent those actions from happening again and show them that you understand the harm they caused. This can help your child feel validated in their feelings and show them that you understand what went wrong.

#8. “Please forgive me.”

It’s vital to apologise when you make a mistake, but sometimes that needs to be done more. If you want your relationship with your child to be mended entirely, they need to forgive you. Explain to them that it’s okay if they can’t do it right away and tell them it might take some time.

Reassure them of your commitment to trying to gain their forgiveness and simultaneously fixing the problem between the two of you. This understanding goes hand-in-hand with being accountable for what happened–Own up to your actions and be honest about how sorry you are.

Don’t bad-mouth the other parent in this situation. Bad-mouthing the other parents affects the child severely. It will turn your child more alienated from you.

I think you should watch this video to learn more about how to communicate with alienated children:

FAQs On What to Say to Alienated Child

How to communicate with alienated children?

It can be challenging to communicate with alienated children, but trying is important.

First, remember that they are going through a lot and may feel overwhelmed. Second, try to be patient and understand that they may not be ready to talk. Third, focus on building trust and rapport. Fourth, be prepared to answer their questions honestly.

Finally, keep the lines of communication open and continue to reach out even if they seem distant. By following these tips, you can start to build a relationship with an alienated child and help them heal.

How do you reunite with an alienated child?

The first step is to reach out and express your feelings in a letter or an email. Understandably, you may feel scared and unsure of what to say, but reach out and express your feelings nonetheless.

Even if your child does not respond, they will know you are thinking about them and still care about them. If possible, try to arrange a meeting in person.

This can be not easy, but it will give you a chance to talk face-to-face and show your child that you are willing to make an effort to reconnect with them. Be patient and be prepared for the possibility that it may take some time for your child to come around.

Remember that they are going through their own healing and growth process and will eventually come to a place where they are ready to forgive and forget.

How do you talk to an alienated teenager?

When talking to an alienated teenager, be respectful and listen more than you speak. Avoid lecturing or sounding judgmental. Instead, try to engage in open-ended conversations and show that you are interested in hearing their perspective.

It is also necessary to only force them to share what they are comfortable with. Allow them time to process their thoughts and feelings, and be patient as they learn to trust you. Remember that rebuilding a relationship takes time, but it can be done with patience and understanding.

How do you save an alienated child?

Most children will feel alienated or alone at some point in their lives. This can happen for several reasons, including moving to a new school, going through a divorce, or simply feeling like an outsider.

While these feelings are normal and usually temporary, they can be tough to deal with. If you have a child feeling alienated, you can do a few things to help.

First, try to encourage them to express their feelings. This can be done through conversation, journaling, or even art. It’s mandatory that they know you’re there for them and that their feelings are valid.

Second, help them find a support system, whether that’s a friend, family member, teacher, or counsellor.

Finally, please encourage them to get involved in activities and hobbies that make them feel good. This can help them to connect with others who share their interests and give them a sense of belonging.

Taking these steps can help an isolated child start to feel connected and supported again.

How to counteract parental alienation?

Parental alienation is a serious problem that can have a lasting impact on children. If left unchecked, it can lead to estrangement and even hatred between children and their parents. Luckily, some steps can be taken to counteract this damaging behaviour.

First and foremost, it is essential to try to maintain a positive relationship with the child. This can be difficult, especially if the other parent is already manipulating the child. However, it is essential to remain calm and patient and to avoid engaging in any kind of conflict.

It is also crucial to provide support for the child, both emotionally and practically. This may include helping with homework or offering to babysit. Finally, keeping communication open with the child and the other parent is crucial. By taking these steps, it is possible to mitigate the effects of parental alienation and create a more positive family dynamic.

When to give up on an alienated child?

The decision of when to give up on an alienated child is a difficult one. When a child is first alienated, there is often hope that the situation will improve.

However, as time passes and the child continues to exhibit signs of alienation, it may become clear that there is no resolution. The child may refuse all contact with the parent or may only have negative things to say about them.

At this point, it may be time to consider giving up on the relationship. This can be difficult, but it may be necessary to protect your emotional well-being.

If you do decide to give up on an alienated child, do so with compassion and understanding. Remember that the child is likely going through a difficult time and may be unable to see things from your perspective.

Ultimately, the decision of when to give up on an alienated child is a personal one. You will need to weigh the pros and cons of maintaining a relationship with someone who may not be willing or able to reciprocality that effort.

What not to say to an alienated child?

It can be challenging to know what to say to a child that feels alienated from you. You want to reach out and express your love, but you also don’t want to worsen the situation. Here are some things to avoid saying:

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” This statement blames the child and makes them feel like they’re overreacting.

“You’re just going through a phase.” This dismisses the child’s feelings and makes them feel like they shouldn’t be taken seriously.

“It’s not my fault.” This places the blame on someone else and shows that you’re unwilling to take responsibility for the situation.

“I don’t know what you want me to do.” This shows that you’re not willing to try to fix the problem.

Instead, try saying something like, “I’m here for you” or “I love you no matter what.” These statements show that you care about the child and are willing to support them through this difficult time.

How to prevent parental alienation?

There are so many ways to prevent parental alienation, but it really starts with communication and setting boundaries. If you’re the parent being alienated, you need to be clear about what is acceptable behaviour and what isn’t.

You also need to be willing to communicate with your ex-partner, even if it’s complicated. It’s important to remember that your children need both of you in their lives, so try to keep the lines of communication open.

Some people may suggest you sue the other parent for alienation, but this can be a long and difficult process. Bad-mouthing, suing etc, will also have a negative effect on your children. So, the best way is to try to resolve the issue through communication and setting boundaries.

If you need help, many resources are available, such as books, websites, and support groups. You can also talk to a therapist or counsellor who can help you deal with the situation. Oh, calling CPS will also not work for parental alienation.

How to prove your child is being brainwashed?

Any parent wants what is best for their child. They want them to be happy and safe and to have every opportunity to succeed. So, when you think your child is being brainwashed, it is a natural reaction to feel panicked and wants to do something about it.

But how can you be sure that your child is really being indoctrinated? And what can you do to protect them?

Several warning signs indicate that your child may be under the influence of a cult or other organisation that engages in brainwashing. They may suddenly start to withdraw from family and friends, become extremely secretive, or exhibit obsessive behaviours.

They may also display signs of anxiety or depression or start acting out in aggressive or disruptive ways. If you notice any of these changes in your child, take action.

The best way to protect your child from brainwashing is to keep them informed and engaged in the world around them. Teach them critical thinking skills so they can question authority and make their own decisions.

Please encourage them to explore different points of view and to listen to different sides of every issue. And most importantly, give them your unconditional love and support. With these tools, your child will be better equipped to resist any form of brainwashing.


Repairing a relationship with an alienated child takes time and effort, but it can be worth it in the end. It’s important to apologise, listen, and take responsibility for what went wrong. Show your child you’re committed to repairing the relationship, and always let them know you’re there.

Remember, every situation is unique, and what works for one child may not work for another. Keep communication open, be willing to listen, and always show your love and support. With patience and persistence, the relationship with your child can improve and become stronger than before.

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