If you find yourself in a situation where “my ex won’t let me go after a breakup,” you know it can be challenging. They might constantly call, text, or even show up at your house. You want to move forward with your life, but they’re stopping you!
My ex-colleague Oliver recently emailed me about her situation with her ex-girlfriend. He told me exactly:
“I had a relationship with my ex that lasted four years. She recently broke up with me, and I wanted to move on, but she won’t let me go. She’s always texting or calling to see how I’m doing or showing up at places where I am. It’s tough for me to make any progress in my life when she keeps coming back into it.”
If you can relate to Oliver’s story, don’t worry! Here are 11 practical steps that can help you deal with your ex who won’t let you go:
My Ex Won’t Let Me Go After Breakup: 11 Practical Ways to Deal
#1. Don’t contact them:
After a breakup, the first and most important thing you can do is cut off all communication with your ex. This includes phone calls, text messages, social media, email, and anything else. It may be challenging initially, but giving yourself time to heal and move on is essential.
Also, avoid seeking information about them through mutual friends or social media stalking. This will only lead to more hurt and may make it harder for you to let go. Your ex might be upset about this. But this will help you to control the situation.
#2. Block their number:
If your ex continues to try contacting you, block their number on all devices (including landline if applicable). You may also want to block them on all social media platforms as well.
If they try contacting you through other means, such as showing up at your house or workplace, consider obtaining a restraining order if necessary. Your safety and mental health come first in this situation.
#3. Unfriend/unfollow them on social media:
If you’re still friends with your ex on social media, it’s time to unfriend or unfollow them. Seeing their posts and pictures will make it harder for you to move on. If you can’t bring yourself to unfriend or unfollow them, at least hide their posts from your newsfeed so you don’t have to see them every time you log on.
Additionally, limit the amount of time you spend on social media in general. It can be a significant source of comparison and negative emotions during a breakup. Go a total silence with her. However, some people believe that keeping silent makes a woman miss you more.
#4. Keep yourself busy:
One of the best ways to cope with an ex who won’t let go is to keep yourself busy with activities and hobbies that make you happy. Fill your time with things that bring you joy and improve your self-esteem, such as exercise, a new hobby, or spending time with friends and family.
This will not only occupy your mind but also help you move on and focus on yourself instead of the relationship.
#5. Surround yourself with positive people:
After a breakup, surround yourself with positive people who support and uplift you. This includes friends, family members, and even therapists or counsellors if necessary.
Avoid spending time with negative people who may bring you down or try to encourage unwanted contact with your ex. Instead, seek supportive individuals to help you heal and move on.
#6. Remove reminders of them from your home:
Another way to help yourself move on is to remove any reminders of your ex from your home. This could include pictures, gifts, clothes, etc. Seeing these things every day will make it harder for you to forget them.
If necessary, consider temporarily staying with a friend or family member to avoid being constantly reminded of your ex in your own space.
#7. Get rid of their stuff:
If you have any of your ex’s stuff that they left behind, it’s time to get rid of it. Keeping their things around will only remind you of them every time you see them. You can either throw it away, give it back to them, or donate it to charity.
Similarly, if they gave you any gifts during the relationship, consider getting rid of them as well. It may be painful at first, but it’s crucial for healing and moving. After breaking up, don’t try to act like a couple again.
#8. Find a new hobby or activity:
One way to distract yourself from thoughts of your ex is to find a new hobby or activity you enjoy. This could be anything from painting or hiking to cooking or playing an instrument. Doing something that makes you happy will help take your mind off of the breakup and allow you to focus on something positive in your life.
Not only will a new hobby provide a distraction, but it can also improve your self-esteem and help you discover new interests and passions.
#9. Focus on your career/schoolwork:
If you’re feeling particularly stressed about the breakup, try focusing on your career or schoolwork instead. Immersing yourself in work or studies will help take your mind off personal matters and give you a sense of accomplishment when you successfully finish tasks.
Additionally, focusing on your career or education can also lead to personal growth and improvement in the long run. Be aware that she might try to ruin your career.
#10. Travel somewhere new:
Another great way to move on from a breakup is to travel somewhere new. This could be a weekend trip or even a more extended vacation if you have the time and money for it. Getting out of your routine will help take your mind off of things and allow you to relax and have fun.
Additionally, travelling alone can be a great way to focus on yourself and discover new things about yourself.
#11. Write about your feelings:
Journaling or writing about your emotions can be a helpful way to process and cope with the pain of a breakup. It’s important to acknowledge and healthily express your feelings rather than bottling them up inside.
Writing can also serve as a release form and allow you to reflect on the relationship and any lessons learned. Remember that breakups can often lead to personal growth and ultimately make us stronger.
5 Signs Your Ex Won’t Let You Go
- They constantly reach out: Your ex may send you frequent texts and messages on social media or call and leave voicemails. Even they may call you after a week of no contact.
- They still act jealous: Your ex might act jealous when you talk about new people in your life, start dating someone else, or even mention a trip somewhere.
- They try to rekindle the relationship: Your ex might try to meet up for coffee, drinks, or other social activities to get back together.
- They monitor your life: Your ex might ask many questions about your day-to-day life, where you’re going, who you’re seeing, and other details.
- They act possessive: Your ex may act possessive when you talk to them or show any signs of moving on with your life without them.
How would you let go when your ex won’t commit but won’t let go? This is not a big issue. You can still leave him. This discussion will guide you more:
FAQs on My Ex Won’t Let Me Go After Breakup
How do you break up with someone who won’t let you go?
“Why can’t my ex let me go after she broke up with me.”
Break up with someone who won’t let you go. It’s not easy, but it can be done. Here are a few tips:
- Be direct and honest about your feelings. The sooner you express your concerns, the better. If you try to sugarcoat things or avoid the issue, it will only make matters worse in the long run.
- Be assertive but not aggressive. You don’t want to come across as pushy or unreasonable, but at the same time, you need to be firm in your resolve. Make it clear that you’re serious about ending the relationship and that there’s no going back.
- Don’t get drawn into a debate or an argument. This is not the time to try to convince the other person that they’re wrong or that they should see things your way. You must focus on communicating your position and ensuring they understand you’re serious about breaking up.
- Be prepared for an adverse reaction. The other person may react angrily or even violently when you break up with them. Be prepared for this possibility and have a plan in place to deal with it if it does occur.
- Seek support from friends and family members. This is difficult to go through alone, so have a support system in place. Talk to close friends or family members about what you’re going through and let them know how they can help you stay strong during this challenging time.
How do you deal with an ex you still have feelings for?
Breakups are never easy. Even when a relationship has run its course, it can be challenging to let go of someone who was once an essential part of your life. If you find yourself in this situation, there are a few things you can do to ease the transition.
Try to stay busy and keep your mind occupied. This will help you to avoid dwelling on your past relationship. Reach out to your friends and family for support. They will be able to offer words of encouragement and help you see the situation positively.
If you just can’t seem to move on, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counsellor who can help you healthily deal with your feelings.
How do you survive a breakup if you are still in love?
Breakups are always tricky, but they can be adamant if you are still in love with your ex. If you find yourself in this situation, there are a few things you can do to help get through the tough times.
First, give yourself time to grieve. It is natural to feel sad and lost after a breakup, so allow yourself to feel these emotions.
Secondly, try to stay busy and distracted. Spend time with friends and loved ones, take up a new hobby, or travel to new places. Keeping yourself occupied will help take your mind off of your ex and the relationship.
Finally, try not to dwell on what could have been. It is easy to get caught up in regrets and what-ifs, but remember that the relationship ended for a reason. Focusing on the future and what lies ahead will help you recover from the breakup and find happiness again.
What is the best way to break up with a narcissist?
According to Marriage and Family Therapist Kaleah Laroche, the best way to break up with a narcissist is by “ghosting” them. Narcissists are known for their self-absorbed and entitled behaviour and often lack empathy for others.
As a result, they can be tough to break up with. If you try to have a traditional breakup conversation, they may become angry or manipulative to keep you in the relationship.
However, by simply disappearing and cutting off all communication, you can avoid giving them the satisfaction of a dramatic confrontation. Additionally, this method can help to protect you from further emotional damage. Ghosting a narcissist may not be easy, but it is often the best option.
How do you know when a relationship is really over?
It’s always challenging to know when a relationship is really over. After all, you may have invested much time and energy into the relationship, and it can be challenging to let go.
However, some telltale signs usually indicate that it may be time to move on. For instance, if you find yourself constantly arguing or feeling unhappy, it may be a sign that the relationship is no longer working.
Additionally, it may be time to call it quits if you no longer feel connected with your partner or like you’re always walking on eggshells.
Of course, only you can know when a relationship is over, but if you’re feeling unsure, it’s always a good idea to talk to a trusted friend or family member for their opinion.
Dealing with an ex who won’t let go can be difficult, but it’s important to remember that you deserve to move on and be happy. By following these practical tips and focusing on yourself, you will eventually be able to heal and let go of the past entirely.
Remember that it’s not always easy, but you are strong and capable of overcoming this difficult situation. Take care of yourself and surround yourself with positive people who support you. Good luck on your journey to healing and moving on.