My cousin Katty said, “I don’t know why my husband doesn’t help me with anything. Maybe he’s too busy, he doesn’t understand my needs, or I’m not asking the right way. Whatever the reason is, I want to make him helpful towards me.”
Now, if you are in the same condition as Katty, don’t worry – you’re not alone! Many husbands can be pretty unhelpful regarding housework and taking care of the kids. However, this can be a permanent situation.
In this blog post, I will discuss 11 ways that you can make your husband more helpful towards you. Using these strategies, you can reduce the amount of work you have to do on your own and, finally, get some help around the house!
Seven Reasons Your Husband Doesn’t Help Around The House
#1. He doesn’t understand your needs:
Men tend to be more task-oriented, whereas women are more process-oriented. This means that men may be less likely to understand why certain things need to be done in a certain way. So, it is possible that your husband doesn’t understand or realise what help you need from him.
Moreover, if your husband isn’t aware of the amount of work you carry around the house, he may not be as willing to help. Also, he may need help understanding the importance of certain tasks, like doing the laundry or taking out the trash.
#2. He’s busy with other things:
Men are usually very busy with work and other activities. He may need more energy or time to help around the house simply because he is exhausted from his commitments. Keeping commitment is a very important thing for men. There are so many cases where women left the men due to the failure of keep commitment by the men.
Also, it is possible that he has no idea of how hard you are working around the house and believes that he doesn’t need help. Further, he may think he would intrude on your work if he does try to help.
#3. He’s uninterested:
Your husband may only be interested in helping around the house if he sees it as something other than necessary. He may think that you are perfectly capable of taking care of yourself without his help.
It is also possible that your husband doesn’t want to do specific tasks and believes it is not his responsibility. This could be because of traditional gender roles or simply just personal preference. You may do everything for him from your heart and get no response. This is normal.
#4. He’s not used to it:
It may just be that your husband is not used to helping around the house. Maybe he was never asked to do chores as a child, or maybe he had someone else to do them for him. It is also possible that he never saw his parents helping around the house and thinks it isn’t necessary.
Moreover, if your husband grew up in a culture where men were expected to be the sole breadwinner and providers, he could feel uncomfortable doing household tasks. Though, I have seen many cases where a boyfriend unnecessarily tries to parent their stepchild.
#5. He doesn’t know how to help:
It is possible that your husband doesn’t know how to help around the house. Perhaps he was never taught basic household tasks or needed to gain the necessary skills. He may also be intimidated by specific tasks, like cooking or cleaning, and feel he will need to do them correctly.
Finally, he may feel like you expect him to do the chores perfectly and be afraid of making mistakes. Son from families who think their son has been isolated by his girlfriend often seems to be this type. They think a son is more special to the family than a woman.
#6. He doesn’t think his help matters:
“Husband expects me to do everything and work.”
Your husband may not believe that his help is necessary or that it will make any difference. He may even feel you don’t value his contributions and think he will be wasting his time if he tries to help.
It is also possible that your husband has tried helping out in the past but was met with criticism or resentment from you. As a result, he may now think it’s not worth it and feel his efforts are not appreciated.
#7. He is jobless:
“My husband doesn’t help me financially.”
If your husband has no job, he can’t support you. Also, he may feel like helping around the house is an added burden. He may think he has a lot of time and should not be bothered with household chores.
It could also be that your husband needs to focus all his energy on finding a job and that helping out around the house would be a distraction. He may also feel like he is not contributing to the household meaningfully and that his help isn’t needed.
My Husband Doesn’t Help Me with Anything: 10 Ways to Make Him Helpful Towards You
#1. Establish clear expectations:
“I feel like my husband expects me to do everything.”
The first step is to ensure that you and your husband are on the same page regarding helping around the house. Discuss and establish what tasks you expect him to do, how often they should be done, and any other expectations you have.
Also, make sure to communicate why it is essential that your husband helps out. Explain how his help will make a difference and benefit both of you in the long run. Stopping communication for weeks will not change the situation.
If he is lazy and wants to do something other than work, then point out that this is an opportunity to prove his worth and show you how he can help. This will help you both avoid misunderstandings and disagreements in the future.
#2. Show appreciation:
Let your husband know that you appreciate his help and are thankful for it. This will motivate him to continue helping out around the house and make him more likely to do so in the future. Try praising him when he does something correctly or thanking him for his efforts.
You can also express your appreciation through small gestures, like cooking him a special dinner or giving him a massage after he’s finished doing the chores. This will show that you truly value his help and make him feel appreciated. Whatever the situation, don’t yell at him.
#3. Divide the work:
When it comes to chores and responsibilities, divide them evenly between you and your husband. This will ensure that both of you can handle your workload. Make sure to discuss which tasks each of you will be responsible for so that there are no misunderstandings or disagreements in the future.
Also, make sure to adjust the workload when necessary. If one of you feels too overwhelmed, switching tasks or dividing them differently may be a good idea. Make sure to discuss this with your husband and devise a plan that works best for both of you.
#4. Learn together:
You can learn together if your husband is not used to helping around the house or needs to learn to do specific tasks. This will allow him to gain the necessary skills and make him more confident in his abilities. You can also make it fun by turning it into a game or making it a project that you do together.
If your husband hesitates about taking on specific jobs, try to bolster him with kind words and support. Help him understand that it’s okay not to know everything and that he won’t be penalised for seeking advice from others. With this perspective, he will hopefully feel more confident and want to help out more around the house.
#5. Offer encouragement:
If your husband is struggling with certain tasks, try to offer him words of encouragement. Reassure him that he can do it and that you believe in his ability to complete the task successfully. If necessary, provide assistance or instruction where needed. This will help him gain confidence in his abilities and make him more likely to help.
Also, try to keep a positive attitude when interacting with your husband. Show him that you believe in his abilities and support him no matter what. This will make him feel appreciated and valued, motivating him to help out more around the house.
#6. Make it fun:
Sometimes, helping out around the house can be tedious. To make it more enjoyable, try making it a fun game. Listen to music while working together or come up with creative ways to do household chores. This will make your husband more likely to help out in the future and make the task seem less daunting.
Further, try rewarding your husband when he helps out around the house. Whether it’s a special dinner or just a pat on the back, giving him small rewards will make him feel appreciated and valued for his efforts. This will encourage him to help out more in the future.
#7. Introduce him to other helpful couples:
Another way to make your husband more helpful around the house is by introducing him to other couples with successful household arrangements. Seeing how others balance their lives and responsibilities can inspire and motivate him. It may also give him ideas for being more helpful in the future.
In addition, while you’re introducing your husband to other couples, make sure to focus on the positive aspects of their relationships. By doing this, you will show him how they can work together and remain productive despite daily challenges. Seeing this will inspire your husband to be more helpful around the house and be a better partner overall.
#8. Talk to him:
If you want your husband to help out more around the house, have a conversation with him. By being open and honest with each other, you can figure out why he’s not helping as much as you’d like.
If possible, set aside time each week when you two can come together and discuss your daily responsibilities and tasks. This will allow both of you to talk and devise a plan that works best for you.
Further, try and make the conversation about your goals instead of assigning blame. Instead of pointing fingers, focus on how everyone in the household can contribute and work together towards achieving these goals.
#9. Agree on rules and regulations:
Establish some guidelines or ground rules if you want your husband to be more helpful around the house. This will give both of you an understanding of what is expected from each other in terms of household duties.
Once these rules and regulations are set in place, ensure everyone in the household follows them. This will ensure that the rules are being followed and that everyone is doing their fair share of work.
In addition, make sure to create a flexible schedule for household tasks. Your husband can plan his day in advance and adjust as needed without feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
#10. Acknowledge his efforts:
When your husband helps out around the house, make sure to acknowledge and thank him for it. Doing this will show him that you appreciate all of his hard work and will make him more likely to help out in the future.
Try offering praise whenever possible. Saying things like “You’re such a great help!” and “I really appreciate your efforts” will make him feel appreciated and valued, leading to more helpful behaviour in the future.
Finally, remember to try and have fun together when doing household tasks. This will make it more enjoyable for both of you and ensure he’s always willing to lend a helping hand.
If you are in a situation where you are bound to say, “My husband doesn’t help me with anything”, you can watch the below discussion:
FAQs on My Husband Doesn’t Help Me with Anything
How do you deal with an unhelpful husband?
By recognizing that communication is key, start by talking with your husband about how you feel and why. Explain that his behaviour is affecting your relationship. Try to be as understanding and compassionate as possible and firm in setting boundaries and expectations for how he should behave toward you. Remember that everyone expresses their emotions differently, so avoid being too judgmental.
Be sure to listen to your husband’s point of view and validate his feelings. Also, think of solutions that could help both of you in the long run. Acknowledge any tension between the two of you, and look for areas where progress can be made.
Remember that it takes time for relationships to change and grow. Reassure your husband that you are committed to making things work, but also make sure he is willing to put in the effort too.
What is an unsupportive husband?
An unsupportive husband is someone who doesn’t do his fair share to help out around the house or with the raising of the children. He may want to separate often for silly reasons.
He may also be someone who is constantly critical of his wife or who regularly belittles her in front of others. An unsupportive husband isn’t necessarily someone who is abusive, although that can certainly be the case.
Instead, an unsupportive husband is simply someone who doesn’t make his wife feel like she’s an equal partner in the relationship. This can be extremely frustrating and draining for a woman, and it can ultimately lead to a marriage that isn’t fulfilling for either party.
Should a husband help his wife with household chores?
“My husband gets mad when I ask him to help me around the house.”
If you ask any married couple how they divide up household chores, you’re likely to get a wide range of answers. Some couples have a traditional division of labour, with the husband caring for yard work and the wife handling cooking and cleaning. Others take a more egalitarian approach, sharing all tasks equally.
There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to dividing up household chores, but there are some advantages to having the husband pitch in with domestic duties.
For one thing, it can help to build a stronger bond between husband and wife. Working together on everyday tasks can create a sense of teamwork and cooperation that can be beneficial in other areas of the relationship.
In addition, helping with household chores can give the husband a greater sense of ownership in the home. And finally, lending a hand with laundry or dishes can simply show love and appreciation for one’s partner.
What is a selfish husband?
“My husband does nothing special for me.”
A selfish husband is someone who only thinks about himself and his own needs. He doesn’t consider the needs of his wife or family and expects them to cater to his every whim. He’s self-centred, self-absorbed, and completely lacking in empathy.
A selfish husband doesn’t care about anyone but himself and is often manipulative and controlling. He can be emotionally abusive, and he may also be physically abusive. A selfish husband is a danger to his family, and he’s someone that should be avoided at all costs.
How do you deal with a lazy spouse?
“I work full time and do all the housework.” This situation is so challenging when your husband is lazy.
Dealing with a lazy spouse can be a frustrating experience. It can be difficult to get them to help with household chores or even just to take the trash out. However, there are some things you can do to make life easier.
One way to deal with a lazy spouse is to set up a chore chart. This way, each person has specific tasks that they are responsible for. You can also try offering incentives for completing chores, such as allowing them to watch TV or have dessert after dinner.
If your spouse is still unwilling to help around the house, it may be time to talk seriously about the division of labour. It is important to remember that you cannot change someone else. You can only control your own actions and reactions.
With that in mind, try to be understanding and patient and focus on finding ways to make your life more manageable.
If your husband doesn’t help you with anything around the house, there are several things you can do to make him more helpful. You can create a shared list of responsibilities and set some ground rules, have open conversations with him about your goals and his role in your home, and offer praise whenever he helps.
Ultimately, you and your husband need to remember that change takes time, but you can become an effective team with patience and understanding.