My child hates her dad – It’s never easy when your child hates his/her dad. No matter what the reason is, it can be a difficult situation for the entire family. We have five tips for you if you’re looking for ways to improve things.
Isabella, my college junior, came to my office yesterday to share his worrying story about the relationship between her daughter and dad:
“My daughter has always been a bit of a mystery to me. She’s 15 years old now, and since she was about 15, she’s been complaining for one minute that she hates it. I’ve tried asking her what’s wrong, but she just tells me it’s nothing. Even sometimes, they both bargain with silly things. I am really worried about their relationship.“
My Child Hates Her Dad: 5 Things You Can Do to Make Love
Are you in the same situation as Isabella? If your child hates her dad, here are five things you can do to resolve their issue:
#1. Talk to your child:
If your child is old enough, sit down with him or her and try to talk about what’s going on. It could be that there’s a specific reason why your child doesn’t like her dad. Maybe something happened that she’s not happy about, or maybe she doesn’t feel he pays enough attention to her.
If your child is younger, it may be harder to figure out what’s happening. In this case, observe and look for clues. Maybe your child is acting out more when she’s around her dad, or maybe she’s withdrawn and doesn’t want to talk about him.
Paying attention to these things can give you a better idea of what the problem might be. Naturally, girls are used to giving shoulders suddenly. Talk with her to figure out the reason.
#2. Find out the other reasons:
If the child doesn’t want to talk about it, try to find the reasons by talking to other people close to her. This could be grandparents, aunts, and uncles, or even her friends. They may have some insight into what’s going on that you don’t have.
Of course, you should only do this if you’re sure your child won’t be upset that you’re talking to other people about her relationship with her dad. It’s important to respect her privacy and not put her in a position where she feels she has to defend herself.
Is there any possibility that your child’s dad abused the child physically, emotionally, or sexually in the past? If so, this could be a major reason why she hates him. There are so many nasty fathers out there in the world.
Isabella finally acknowledged that “my 15 year-old daughter hates her dad because her father sexually abused her twice.” It’s a serious offence, legally and morally.
If this is the case, you should seek professional help to deal with the situation. Your child may need therapy to deal with the trauma she’s experienced. Additionally, you have to be more cautious about your husband’s movement.
If, unluckily, something happened like this with your child, be cool. Don’t share this news with your friends or relatives to anyone. Because this could be a big black mark not only in your husband’s career but also in your family’s reputation. So think more than twice before you take any action.
If you decide to go ahead and talk to someone else about it, make sure that it’s someone who can help, like a therapist or a doctor. It’s not a good idea to just talk to friends or family members about something like this, as they may be unable to give you the help you need.
Additionally, if you do decide to seek professional help, make sure that your child is involved in the decision-making process. She should feel like she has a say in what happens and that her feelings are respected.
#3. Don’t rush to take the decision:
Find out what’s troubling the child about his dad. Don’t immediately get mad because it could be a bad situation behind your back. If the child is being abused by his father, you should do something about it. But if it’s just a silly little disagreement, maybe all your child needs is some time to cool down.
If you’re unsure what’s going on, it’s probably best to err on the side of caution and talk to someone who can help, like a therapist or a doctor. But if you’re pretty sure the problem is just a small disagreement, give your child some time to work things out on her own.
Remember, children are often very resilient. They may not like each other today, but tomorrow they could be best friends again. So don’t rush to take any drastic measures. Just give them some time and see what happens.
#4. Don’t be hard on the father so quickly:
“My 6 year old daughter hates her dad because he didn’t attend her school program.”
Yes, these types of situations are really painful for any father. But don’t be too hard on him. It’s possible he had a good reason for not being there like he was working or sick.
It’s easy to jump to conclusions and assume that the father is at fault. After all, he’s the one your child is having problems with. But it’s important to remember that every story has two sides. So before you start blaming him, take a step back and try to see things from his perspective.
Talk to him about the blame for your child. And try to find a solution together. After all, he’s the child’s father and probably loves her just as much as you do. So you must work together to find a solution that works for everyone.
Dads get a tough time sometimes due to many financial or official issues. For some reason, a gap in the relationship between a father and a child might be created. The child may think that the dad doesn’t love her, but in reality, the dad is just going through a tough time. So don’t be hard on him so quickly.
Try to understand his situation before you take any action. He might need your help and support to get through this tough time.
If anything is wrong from the dad’s side, advise him to loosen up a bit and spend more time with his child. And if he doesn’t have time for her, you may help by taking on some parenting responsibilities yourself. After all, it takes a village to raise a child.
#5. Arrange more family programs:
One of the best ways to help your child deal with her dad is to make sure she spends time with him. This can be tricky, especially if they don’t get along well. But it’s important to try to find ways to make it work.
One way to do this is by arranging more family programs. For example, you could plan a day trip to the zoo or the park. Or you could have a family movie night where everyone watches the same movie together.
This will give your child some quality time with her dad, and it will also allow them to bond and build relationships. So it’s definitely worth a try.
#6. Get help from the therapist:
If you’ve tried all of the above and nothing seems to be working, then it might be time to get some help from a therapist. A therapist can help your child deal with her feelings towards her dad. And they can also help improve communication between the two of them.
So if you’re at your wit’s end, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. It could be exactly what you and your child need.
FAQs on My Child Hates Her Dad
Why do daughters hate their fathers?
Girls are often closer to their mothers from an early age than their fathers. Fathers may be more likely to roughhouse with their sons, while mothers tend to nurture and comfort their daughters.
As girls grow older, they may see their fathers as too strict or overbearing for silly reasons like neighbour’s complaints. In some cases, girls may feel their fathers do not understand or appreciate them as much as their mothers do.
Furthermore, fathers may inadvertently pressure their daughters to meet certain expectations. As a result, it is not uncommon for daughters to resent or dislike their fathers sometimes.
I know a child who hates her dad because that person fathered her outside of the marriage. He always tried to hide the child and her mother from his other family and society. This makes the child angry with the father.
However, remember that fathers play a vital role in their daughters’ lives and that most father-daughter relationships are ultimately positive and loving.
I hate my dad: how to cope when you feel this way?
It is perfectly normal to have negative feelings towards your father at times. However, if you constantly feel angry or resentful towards him, it might be time to take a step back and understand why.
There could be many reasons why you feel this way. Perhaps he was overly strict or critical when you were growing up. Or maybe you feel like he doesn’t understand you or appreciate you.
Whatever the reason, communicate with him about how you’re feeling. It might be difficult, but it is important to try to express your feelings constructively.
If you’re struggling to cope with your negative feelings, it might be time to seek help from your mother or other family members, or you may even consult a therapist.
Is it normal for kids not to like their dad?
It is perfectly normal for children to not like their father at times. Research has shown that conflict between fathers and their children is quite common.
However, remember that most father-child relationships are ultimately positive and loving. So if you’re finding it difficult to cope with your negative feelings, don’t hesitate to seek help from a therapist or other family members.
You can learn more about father-daughter relationships from this video. Here, the author discussed six types of unhealthy father-daughter relationships:
What does an adult daughter need from her dad?
Biology tells us that, as his daughter grows up and becomes a woman, an adult daughter needs her father’s help to determine her future.
By remaining close to her and providing emotional and practical support, a father can help his daughter stay healthy and make good choices about her relationships, career, and education.
In addition, a father’s love and approval can help his daughter to form a positive self-image and to develop a strong sense of self-worth.
While every daughter is different, all daughters need their fathers to be present in their lives. Some daughters may want privacy from their dads, but most will appreciate his involvement in their lives.
Conclusion:
The father-child relationship is one of the most special and important relationships in a person’s life. So when things go wrong, it can be tough. If your child hates her dad, understand why and see if there’s anything you can do to fix the situation.