What Can Be Used Against You in a Custody Battle: 9 Things

If you are involved in a custody case, you must need to know what can be used against you in a custody battle. Many things can be used against you in court, and if you are not careful, you could lose custody of your children.

This post will discuss nine things you should avoid if you want to win your custody battle! Some other relevant questions will also be answered.

What Can Be Used Against You in a Custody Battle

What Can Be Used Against You in a Custody Battle: 9 Things You Should Avoid

Regarding custody battles, almost anything can be used against you. However, some things are more likely to be used than others. Below are nine things that can be used against you in a custody battle.

#1. Physical or verbal altercations:

Any physical or verbal altercation toward your ex or children, no matter how minor, can be used against you in a custody battle. If you are involved in a custody dispute, remain calm and avoid confrontation with the other parent.

Any type of physical violence, even if it does not result in injuries, can be used as evidence that you are unfit to have custody of your children. Similarly, threatening or disrespectful language can also be used against you.

Even if the other parent starts an altercation, you will likely be held responsible for any escalations. Therefore, it is always best to walk away from any situation that has the potential to turn violent or abusive.

By remaining calm and avoiding conflict, you can help improve your chances of winning custody of your children.

#3. Introducing your new partner to your child:

It is common for parents to want to introduce their new partner to their child as soon as possible, but doing so can sometimes backfire during a custody battle.

If the child becomes attached to the new partner, it can make it more difficult for the other parent to have a relationship with the child. Additionally, if the new partner has questionable behaviours or activities, it could reflect poorly on the parent and be used against them in court.

Generally, it is best to wait until a custody battle is over before introducing a new partner to the child. This will help to avoid any unnecessary complications or drama.

#3. Badmouthing your ex and children:

Badmouthing your ex or your children can be used against you in court. If you say negative things about your ex, the judge may assume you cannot co-parent effectively.

Similarly, if you speak negatively about your children, the judge may question your ability to put their needs first. Remember that custody battles are not about winning or losing; they’re about what’s best for the children.

I know a man who disrespected her bipolar ex and closed all kinds of communication with the child. He excused that the bipolar mother has no right of custody as she was unable the parenting due to her mental illness. But the court denied it.

As such, be respectful and constructive when discussing your ex and children with your lawyer, the court, and the other parent. Choose your words carefully, and always try to speak positively about both parties involved.

#4. Neglecting Parental Responsibilities:

The court will consider each parent’s ability to care for the child in custody battles. This includes work schedule, living arrangements, and financial stability. However, one of the most critical factors in each parent’s willingness to fulfil their parental responsibilities.

This includes everything from providing emotional support to paying child support. If a parent neglects their responsibilities, it can be used against them in court. For example, if a parent misses child support payments, the court may view them as being unable or unwilling to care for the child’s financial needs.

In addition, if a parent frequently cancels plans with the child or fails to attend important events, the court may view them as emotionally unavailable.

Not having valid licences can sometimes be a burden for winning child custody. Ultimately, any neglect can be used against a parent in a custody battle.

#5. Withholding child from other parents:

When two parents are no longer together, it is common for there to be some conflict in communication and visitation. Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead to one parent withholding the child from the other, including blocking telephone contact.

While this may seem like a way to punish the other parent or gain an advantage in a custody battle, it is incredibly harmful to the child. Not only does it deprive them of a relationship with one parent, but it can also cause them a great deal of stress and anxiety. 

Therefore, if you are going through a divorce and child custody battle, remember that withholding your child from the other could jeopardise your chances of winning custody.

#6. Moving out of state with the child without notifying other parents:

Moving out of state without informing the other parent can be seen as an act of hostility and may damage your chances of winning custody. The other parent may also argue that you are making it difficult for them to see their child and that they should have primary custody.

The court may view it as an attempt to limit the other parent’s time with the child, leading to a ruling in favour of the other parent. In addition, the court may order you to pay for the other parent’s travel expenses to visit the child.

Moving out with the child without informing the other parent or court before finalizing the divorce may be used against you in court.

#7. Removing your child from their regular activities:

While it may be necessary to make some changes to your child’s schedule during a divorce, abruptly cancelling their classes or discontinuing their extracurricular activities could be seen as an attempt to interfere with your ex’s parenting time.

The court may view it as an attempt to disrupt your child’s life and routine, which could count against you when deciding custody.

Additionally, the court may view this as an indication that you are not willing to compromise or work together with your ex for the sake of your child. As a result, think carefully before making any changes to your child’s schedule during a divorce.

#8. Refusing to follow the court order:

If a parent refuses to follow a court order (such as ignoring during the separation), it will be considered evidence that they are not cooperative and may not be in the child’s best interest.

Additionally, the other parent can use this refusal as grounds to ask for sole custody or to request that the court modify the custody arrangement. The court may view it as a sign of disrespect and may punish you by ordering less favourable custody terms. 

#9. Move in with a significant other:

The details surrounding the parents’ living situation in any custody battle will be closely scrutinized. If you’re currently involved in a custody case, moving in with your significant other before the case is finalized could potentially be used against you.

The other parent may argue that you’re trying to create an unstable home environment for your child or putting your own needs ahead of your child’s best interests. They will try to use it as the best evidence for child custody.

Additionally, the court may view your decision to move in as an indication that you’re not fully committed to co-parenting with the other parent. This is one of the common reasons a judge will change custody.

So, weigh all of the potential risks and benefits before making any decisions about your living arrangements. Oh, don’t make these three mistakes to win the child custody battle:

FAQs on What Can Be Used Against You in a Custody Battle

How does the court decide child custody?

The court will consider several factors when making a custody determination, including the child’s age, the child’s relationship with each parent, the child’s need for stability, and each parent’s ability to provide a safe and loving home.

Ultimately, the court’s goal is to make a decision that is in the child’s best interests. Consequently, the court will carefully weigh all of the relevant factors before making a final determination about custody.

How do you win a custody battle against a narcissist?

If you find yourself in a custody battle against a narcissist, you can do a few things to improve your chances of winning.

First, try to stay calm and level-headed. Narcissists thrive on drama and use any opportunity to create conflict. If you can remain calm, it will be harder for them to rile you up and use your emotions against you.

Second, start gathering evidence early on. This may include documentation of abusive or neglectful behaviour or witnesses who can attest to the narcissist’s character. Keep a journal of everything that happens, including any verbal or emotional abuse incidents.

Ultimately, winning a custody battle against a narcissist requires careful preparation and a well-thought-out strategy. By staying calm, focused, and prepared, you can give yourself the best chance of success.

How do you deal with a nasty custody battle?

Always remember that the child’s best interests should always be the paramount concern. With this in mind, it is often best to try to resolve through negotiation and mediation rather than resorting to court proceedings.

This can be a difficult process, but it is often the best way to ensure that the child has a strong relationship with both parents. If negotiation is not possible, choose a lawyer who is experienced in dealing with custody battles. They will be able to advise you on the best course of action and help you to navigate the legal system.

Above all, remember that the goal should be to reach an agreement that is in the child’s best interests. By keeping this at the forefront of your mind, you can help to ensure that the custody battle does not take a toll on your family.

What happens if you yell at your ex in a custody battle?

If you yell at your ex or child in a custody battle, the court may view it as a sign that you cannot effectively co-parent. The court may also view it as a sign of parental conflict, which can harm children.

In some cases, the court may even order a psychological evaluation to determine whether or not yelling is part of a pattern of abusive behaviour. Ultimately, yelling at your child in a custody battle can backfire and may damage your chances of winning custody.

How to fight for custody with no money?

The process of winning custody of a child can be expensive, and many families find themselves at a disadvantage because they cannot afford to hire an attorney. If you are in this situation, you can do a few things to level the playing field.

First, familiarise yourself with the law and the court process. This will give you a better understanding of what to expect and how to present your case.

Second, try to negotiate an agreement with the other parent. Avoiding a lengthy and costly court battle can save you time and money.

Finally, consider representing yourself in court. While this option may be intimidating, it is often possible to get the same results as an attorney by researching and preparing carefully for court.

By taking these steps, you can level the playing field and give yourself a better chance of winning custody of your child.


While many factors can influence a child custody case, these are some of the most common ways parents can unintentionally damage their chances of winning custody. If you’re currently going through a divorce or child custody battle, be sure to avoid these potential pitfalls.

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