What to Say to a Wife Who Wants a Divorce: 10 Things to Do

What to say to a wife who wants a divorce is a confusing matter for every husband. Many husbands find themselves at a loss for words when their wives tell them that they want a divorce. It can be a very difficult time for both parties involved.

You can do many things to make the process as smooth as possible for everyone involved. In this post, we will discuss such ten things you can do or say to your wife to control the situation.

what to say to a wife who wants a divorce

My Wife Wants a Divorce: 10 Ways on How to Win Her Back

The below story is of my cousin:

“When my wife told me she wanted a divorce, I was devastated. We had been married for ten years, and I thought we were happy. But suddenly I discovered that my wife wanted to leave me! Her announcement blindsided me, and it felt like my world was crumbling.

It took me a long time to get out of the funk I was in, but eventually, I realized that I needed to focus on the positive aspects of my life if I ever wanted to be happy again.”

However, these tips can give you a general idea if you want to get her back.

#1. Be calm and positive:

The first thing you need to do is stay calm and positive. Do not panic or get defensive. This will only make the situation worse and push her away. If you can stay calm, it will show her that you are in control of the situation. This will give her some comfort and security.

Take a deep breath and try to relax like Mr Jamil, who was accused of paying child support though he was just the babysitter. I know you are in a critical moment but remember that everything is going to be alright.

#2. Talk to her to know the reason:

Talk to her and try to find out the reason why she wants a divorce. What has changed in your relationship that has led her to this decision? If you can identify the problem, you may be able to fix it.

Do not push her if she is unwilling to talk about it. Just let her know that you are there for her and want to help in any way possible.

If she does not want to talk about the reasons, it may be because she is unsure. In this case, you can try to get her to see a counsellor or therapist. This professional can help her figure out what she is thinking and feeling.

Often, just talking to someone impartial can help a person sort out their thoughts and feelings.

Of course, you should also see a counsellor or therapist if you think it would help. This is not a sign of weakness. It is simply a way to get professional guidance during this difficult time.

#3. Acknowledge your fault if it is the reason:

If you are the reason why she wants a divorce, acknowledge your fault. Do not try to make excuses or blame her. Simply take responsibility for your actions and apologise, including any kinds of cheats you did with her.

This does not mean that you should take all the blame. She should take responsibility for her actions if she is also at fault. However, if you are the one who caused the problems, you need to take responsibility.

Your wife may be more willing to work on the marriage if she sees that you are eager to take responsibility for your actions.

Of course, this does not mean you should let her walk all over you. You also need to be assertive and stand up for yourself. Just remember that taking responsibility for your actions is an essential step in winning her back.

#4. Apologise to her:

If you have done something that has hurt your wife, apologise to her. This includes both big and small hurts. Even if you did not mean to hurt her, an apology could go a long way.

Many times, people just want to feel like their feelings matter. So even if you do not think you did anything wrong, an apology can show her that you care about her feelings.

If you have hurt her deeply, it may take some time for her to forgive you. Just be patient and keep showing her that you are sorry. Eventually, she may come around.

Of course, an apology is not enough. You also need to take action to make things right. For example, if you cheated on her, you need to end the affair and commit to being faithful.

Actions speak louder than words, so be sure to back up your apology with some positive actions.

#5. Show her romance:

If your wife asks for a divorce, she likely feels unloved and unimportant. So one of the best things you can do is to show her some romance.

This does not mean you must buy her flowers or take her on expensive vacations. Just do something that shows her that she is still the most important person in your life.

For example, you can cook her dinner, write her a love letter, or do something special for her birthday. Whatever you do, just make sure it comes from the heart.

Your wife may not be ready to forgive you yet. But if she sees that you are making an effort to romance her, it may help to change her mind.

Here is a bonus tip: try to be your best husband. This includes being faithful, supportive, and loving. If you can be the husband she always wanted, she may start to see the value in staying married to you.

#6. Give her space:

If your wife wants a divorce, she may need some time for herself. So it is crucial to give her some space. Don’t try to communicate with her if she doesn’t want. It may amount to harassment to her.

This does not mean you should move out of the house or stop talking to her altogether. Just give her some time and space to think about things.

It is also important to respect her wishes. Giving your wife some space is a difficult thing to do. But it is important to remember that this is what she needs now.

#7. Get help from relatives:

If your wife wants a divorce, it is vital to get help from relatives. This is because they can provide support and guidance during this difficult time.

Your relatives can also help to talk to your wife. They can try to convince her to give the marriage another chance.

Of course, you should not put too much pressure on your relatives. They can only do so much. Ultimately, it is up to you and your wife to decide whether or not to stay married.

But if you have supportive relatives, take advantage of their help.

#8. Don’t spy on her:

If your wife wants a divorce, it is essential not to spy on her. This includes following her, checking her phone, or reading her emails.

Spying on your wife will only make things worse. It will make her feel like she can’t trust you. And she may even start to think that you are trying to control her.

If you want to save your marriage, respecting your wife’s privacy is important.

#9. Counselling attempt martial repair:

If your wife wants a divorce, you may want to consider counselling. This is because counselling can help to repair the damage that has been done to your marriage.

Counselling can also help you and your wife to communicate better. And it can give you both the opportunity to work on your relationship.

Of course, counselling does not guarantee your marriage will be saved. But it is worth a try. And even if counselling does not save your marriage, it can still help you to cope with the divorce.

#10. Accept it and let her go:

If nothing above worked, you should accept that your wife wants a divorce. This is because there is nothing more you can do to change her mind. As a man, prepare yourself for the divorce.

You cannot force someone to stay in a relationship. If your wife wants to leave without the divorce, you must let her go. Accepting the divorce may be difficult. But you cannot change someone’s mind.

In these steps, be careful about the terms of the divorce. You will want to make sure that you are getting what you deserve. But be careful not to take advantage of your wife during this difficult time.

If there is any child custody, you will want to ensure that the terms are fair. If she is a bipolar mother, don’t try to deprive her of child custody. But be careful not to use your children as a bargaining chip. Make a good parenting plan by agreeing with both of you which is better for the children.

Do you need more tips on what to say to a wife who wants a divorce? I think the above ten tips are enough. But, if you want to learn more, watch this video:

FAQs on What to Say to a Wife Who Wants a Divorce

How do I stay positive when my wife wants a divorce?

It can be challenging to stay positive when your wife wants a divorce. This is not the end of the world. Many divorced couples have gone on to lead happy and fulfilling lives.

One thing that may help you is to make a list of everything you are grateful for, including your health, job, and friends and family. Additionally, you can start trying to do things that make you happy, such as taking walks in nature, spending time with loved ones, and listening to music.

Slowly but surely, you will begin to feel better. It isn’t easy, but by focusing on the positive, you can eventually able to move on.

What should I not do if my wife wants a divorce?

You should not do many things if your wife wants a divorce. But some of the most important things to avoid include: trying to talk her out of it, spying on her, and taking advantage of her during this difficult time.

How do I convince my wife to save marriage?

Convincing your wife to save the marriage can feel like an uphill battle, like convincing a wife to divorce., But it is essential to remember that you are both on the same side.

The first step is to sit down and have a frank discussion about the state of your relationship. Be honest about your feelings and listen to her feelings as well. Once you have both expressed your concerns, you can start brainstorming solutions together.

It may be helpful to seek professional help through counselling or a marriage workshop. The goal is to find a way to connect and rebuild trust. It is possible to convince your wife that saving the marriage is worthwhile with patience and effort.

My wife wants a divorce should I give up?

No one ever wants to face the end of their marriage, but sometimes it is the best decision for all involved. If your wife has told you that she wants a divorce, it may be tempting to try to talk her out of it or convince her to change her mind.

However, in most cases, it is best to accept her decision and move forward. Divorce can be complicated and emotionally charged, but it does not have to be a fight. If you and your wife can work together, you can make the transition as smooth and painless as possible.

Give up the idea of trying to change her mind and focus on what is best for everyone involved. Just convince her for an uncontested divorce to avoid a lengthy divorce process, including presenting in a divorce hearing several times.


If your wife wants a divorce, trying to save the marriage is important. This includes understanding, giving her space, and getting the help of relatives. But if nothing works, you should accept the divorce and let her go. There is life after divorce and enjoy that.

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