When a Married Man Wants a Child with You: Be Aware of 12 Risks

When a married man wants a child with you, there are 12 risks that you need to be aware of. By understanding these risks, you can protect yourself from being taken advantage of in a vulnerable situation. These risks include everything from financial instability to emotional heartbreak.

Considering having a child with a married man, you must weigh all the potential consequences before deciding. Solania, my ex-colleague, emailed me yesterday explaining her situation.

“2 days ago, a married man came to me and tell me he wanted a baby with me. He said that her wife could not give him a child, and he wanted to have one. He told me he would give me as much money as I wanted. I am trying to figure out what is inside the married man’s mind. He also told me that he would marry me if I gave him a child. All these might be signs a married man is using me. Tell me, is it OK when a married man wants a child with me?” 

I replied, “Before you make any decisions, weigh the advantages and disadvantages of having a child with a married man. You should also consider why he wants to have a baby with you first and how he got you pregnant. Additionally, learn about all the legal consequences of having a baby with a married man. All the risks should be considered proportionately.”

This article will discuss 12 of the most important risks associated with having a child with a married man.

when a married man wants a child with you

When a Married Man Wants a Child with You: Be Aware of 12 Risks

#1. You may be used as a surrogate to get a child:

A married man may want to have a child with you because he cannot have a child with his wife, or perhaps wants a biologically his own child. However, instead of going through the legal process of adoption and providing a good home for a child in need, he may see you as an easy way to fulfil his desire for a biological child.

#2. He may not be fully committed to you and the relationship:

Even if the married man promises to leave his wife and be with you, there is no guarantee that he will follow through on this promise when it comes down to it. He may see you as a means to an end, and once he has the child he wants, he could quickly abandon you. Additionally, if he stays with his wife, you may end up as the other woman and constantly feel like a second choice.

#3. You may not be able to see or have any contact with the child:

If the married man ends up divorcing his wife and being with you, there is no guarantee that he will include you in any custody or visitation agreements regarding the child. Moreover, his ex-wife may not allow you to contact the child, as she may view you as the other woman who helped break up her marriage.

#4. He could use your pregnancy to control and manipulate you:

The married man may use your pregnancy as a way to control and manipulate you, using the baby as leverage. He may also try to isolate you from friends and family, making it harder for you to leave the relationship. It will be even more difficult to leave if you become financially dependent on him.

If you decide to marry him with all the risks, you should sign a prenup with the help of an experienced lawyer.

#5. You could end up raising the child alone:

Even if the married man does stay with you, there is always the possibility that something could happen to him, leaving you as a single parent. You may end up shouldering all the financial and emotional burdens of raising the child alone, without any support from the father or his family.

Additionally, the child may grow up without a father figure in their life. Even you may need to abandon your child to his/her grandparents.

#6. The child may have health problems:

If the man is significantly older than you, there is a greater chance that the child could inherit some health problems from him. These health problems could range from minor to severe conditions requiring lifelong treatment.

You may want to withhold the medical information if he does not bear any financial cost. But it will create more legal complications.

#7. The child may have emotional problems.

If the man is not emotionally stable, there is another possibility that the child could inherit some of his emotional problems. This could include anxiety, depression, or even schizophrenia. The child may require therapy or medication to cope with these issues in this situation.

#8. You could lose your job because of the child:

If you have a job that requires you to travel or work long hours, having a child with a married man could make it difficult to continue working. This is because you need to find someone to care for the child while working. Additionally, your employer may be unwilling to accommodate your new responsibilities as a parent. 

#9. Your family may disapprove of the relationship: 

If you have a close relationship with your family, they may disapprove of your relationship with a married man and the idea of having a child with him. This disapproval could result in tension and distance within the family.

#10. Your friends may not approve of or support you:

Similarly, your friends may disapprove of the relationship and not offer emotional support during your pregnancy or raising the child. They may not want to be around you and the married man, causing potential strain on those friendships.

#11. Your reputation could be affected:

Children with a married man used to be seen as a disgrace, but that’s no longer the case in most communities. In some cases, it could still damage your reputation and cause judgment from others. This negative perception could impact your relationships and your professional ones.

#12. The married man may not be a reliable financial provider: 

The married man may not have the means or willingness to financially support you and the child, leaving you to struggle to provide for your family on your own. He could also stop providing financially at any time, causing potential instability for you and the child.

What will I do if a married man wants a baby with me?

This is your life. We discussed the risks of this above. Now you have to make a decision. Ask yourself: Does this man have the financial means to help raise our child? Do I trust him to stay committed as a father even when I am not around? How will his marriage affect my life and that of our baby?

Regarding these questions, you will need to make an informed decision based on your values and beliefs. It is essential to stay grounded in what you are comfortable with and what you know is right for you.

You also need to be careful about your reputation. While a married man may have noble intentions, the truth is that it could cause permanent damage to your reputation if people in your circle found out. You need to factor this into the equation when making your decision.

Ultimately, only you can decide whether or not having a child with a married man is right for you. Weigh the risks carefully and make the decision that is best for you. It’s like deciding whether to marry someone with a child.

Pregnant by a married man is not good. No matter the situation, getting pregnant by a married man is never ideal. This could lead to serious trouble down the road. Not only are you risking financial instability, but you may also be dealing with emotional heartbreak if the man decides to stay in his marriage or doesn’t take responsibility as a father. You could also face significant repercussions from the man’s wife and family.

How to know when a man is serious about you? Watch the below video to learn the details:

FAQs on When a Married Man Wants a Child with You

How do you know a married man is serious about you?

There are some signs a married man cares for you. A married man may be serious about you if he: 

  • He tells you that he is not happy in his marriage 
  • He introduces you to his friends and family 
  • Spends a lot of time with you 
  • Talks about a future together 
  • Gets jealous when you talk to other men 
  • He puts your needs before his own 
  • He makes time for you even when he is busy 
  • Tries to make you feel special 

If a married man is displaying these signs, it is possible that he is serious about you and considering leaving his wife for you.

However, always remember that married men are often not serious about the women they are cheating with and may simply be using them for sex or emotional support. 

If you are involved with a married man, have an honest conversation about what each of you wants from the relationship.

Can a married man have a child with another woman?

While it is certainly possible for a married man to have a child with another woman, many potential complications could arise. I have discussed a story where a husband fathered a child outside of marriage.

For one, the man’s wife may not be too pleased about the situation and could file for divorce. Additionally, if the child is born out of wedlock, the man may have to pay child support to the child’s mother.

In some cases, the man may also be denied custody of the child if the courts feel it would be in the child’s best interests to remain with the mother. As such, while a married man can technically have a child with another woman, there are several factors to consider before doing so.

Can a married man develop feelings for another woman?

While it is certainly possible for a married man to develop feelings for another woman, remember that this does not always mean he will act on those feelings. In many cases, the man may simply be enjoying the attention of someone who admires him.

Additionally, the man may feel a sense of connection with the other woman that he does not feel with his wife. However, he may also recognise that he still loves his wife and does not want to jeopardise his marriage. As a result, a married man can develop feelings for another woman without necessarily jeopardising his marriage.

Is it worth having a relationship with a married man?

“Disadvantages of having a child with a married man.”

Relationships are never easy, but adding the complication of one person being married can make things even more difficult. While there are some advantages to being in a relationship with a married man – such as stability and financial security – there are also many disadvantages.

For example, you will always be second in his life, and he will never be able to give you the same level of commitment as a single man. In addition, his wife may not be happy about the situation, which could cause problems for both of you.

Ultimately, only you can decide if a relationship with a married man is right for you. It could be worth it if you’re prepared to deal with the challenges. However, if you need help to handle the difficulties, it might be best to steer clear.

How does a married man show interest?

A married man might show interest in a woman by flirting with her, being extra attentive to her, or paying her compliments. He might also try to spend more time with her, whether it’s lingering after work for a chat or inviting her out for coffee.

If he’s interested in starting a physical relationship, he might try to find ways to touch her more often, such as brushing up against her or sitting close to her. Of course, not all married men are interested in having an affair, but those who are might go to great lengths to hide their feelings from their wives.

As such, it can be difficult to know for sure whether a married man is interested in another woman. However, there are some telltale signs that he might be trying to create a connection with someone outside of his marriage.

Why would a married man pursue me?

There could be any number of reasons why a married man would pursue you. Perhaps he’s unhappy in his marriage and is looking for a way out. Maybe he’s bored with his current relationship and is looking for excitement.

Or, it’s possible that he simply finds you attractive and enjoys the attention he gets from flirting with you. Whatever the reasons, it’s important to remember that a married man is not single and available.

Pursuing a relationship with a married man is risky and can lead to heartache. If you find yourself attracted to a married man, it’s best to step back and rethink your decision.


So you know, having a child with a married man can have numerous risks and potential complications. Consider all possible consequences carefully before making such a decision.

Remember to prioritise your own emotional and physical well-being and that of any potential children. Seek support from trusted friends and family members when making this critical decision.

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