When to Give Up on an Alienated Child: 6 Times to Give Up

When you are a parent of an alienated child, you may want to know when to give up on an alienated child. You may have been trying to reach out and connect with your child for years, but they continue to push you away.

There comes a time when you have to face the reality that your child may never come back to you. In this blog post, I will discuss six times when it is time to give up on an alienated child.

Should I give up an alienated child?

As a social worker and family law attorney, I have worked with many families impacted by alienation. So, I will suggest trying to improve the relationship with your child if possible. Don’t be like that when your child wants to hate you.

It can be difficult to know what to do when you feel estranged from your child. On the one hand, it is natural to want to maintain a relationship with your child and to provide them with love and support. It can be deeply painful to be rejected by your child, and you may feel that you have done everything possible to establish a connection.

Consider your options carefully if you struggle with whether or not to give up on an alienated child. While it may be tempting to give up hope, remember that relationships can change over time. If you decide to maintain contact with your child, do so in a way that respects their boundaries.

Sending an occasional text or letter letting them know you are thinking of them can be a good way to stay connected without being intrusive. Ultimately, deciding whether to give up on an alienated child is a personal decision.

when to give up on an alienated child

When to Give Up on an Alienated Child: 6 Times to Give Up

Giving up on an alienated child is never easy, but sometimes it’s the best thing you can do for them. Here are six times when you should consider giving up:

#1. If the child is happy:

If the child is happy with the other parent and doing well without you, it might be time to let go. Because at the end of the day, all you want is for your child to be happy.

Even if it hurts to see them doing fine without you, remember that this is best for them. And sometimes, the best thing we can do as parents is to let our children go. If you’re unsure whether or not your child is happy, ask yourself this: does my child seem like they’re thriving without me? If the answer is yes, it might be time to let go.

#2. You tried your level best but failed:

It’s never easy to admit when we’ve failed, but sometimes it’s necessary. If you’ve tried your best to improve the relationship with your child, but nothing seems to work, then it might be time to give up.

Now the question what did you do to improve the relationship? You can do many small things to improve the bond between you and your child.

Spend time talking, laughing, and playing together every day. Be close physically as well as emotionally. Pay attention to your child’s needs and feelings. Be there for them when they need you.

Show them unconditional love and acceptance. Help them to feel secure, valued, and loved. By taking the time to nurture your relationship with your child, you can create a lifetime of memories and build a strong foundation for their future.

If you’ve tried all these things and more, but your child still doesn’t want anything to do with you, it might be time to let go. Instead of putting yourself through pain and rejection, it may be best to accept that your child does not want to have a relationship with you and move on. Try to cope with it.

#3. The child stopped contacting you totally:

If your child used to keep in touch with you but suddenly stopped all communication, it might be a hint that they want to cut ties and move on. When our children pull away from us, it can be challenging to understand why. However, sometimes they need space to grow.

Of course, there could be other reasons why your child suddenly stopped talking to you. They might be busy with school or work or going through a tough life.

Are you unsure what’s going on? Try contacting them directly or someone who knows your child better. They might be able to give you some insight into what’s going on. If your child has stopped communicating with you completely, it might be time to let go and give them the space they need.

#4. If your leaving brings the best for the child:

Sometimes, it’s best for the child if you leave. If your relationship with the child is toxic or abusive, it’s better to let go. Consider your and your child’s mental and emotional health.

If staying in the relationship is causing you both mental stress, it’s time to walk away. Your child will be better off if you’re not in their life.

If you must make the tough decision to leave, do it with love. Let the child know that you’re doing this for their good and that you’ll always love them. You may not be able to be in their life physically, but you can still be there in spirit.

No matter how much you love your child, some things are more important. And one of those things is their safety and well-being.

#5. You feel unsafe with your children:

If you have an estranged child who is now an adult, and you feel unsafe around them, or they have threatened you somehow, it is time to give up. It is important to prioritise your safety and well-being. Maintaining a relationship with your child puts you at risk, but it is not worth it.

Cutting off contact with an abusive or dangerous child is not easy, but it is necessary for your safety. If you are in this situation, reach out to a support group or therapist for help. If it is an emergency, you may call CPS.

#6. When there is no hope of a positive change in the future:

Finally, when you try in all ways to manage and to make your child understand that you love them, it will be tough to live without them, but if nothing seems to work, it might be time to give up.

Sometimes as a parent, we think that our children will change when they grow up and realize what they’ve done. But that doesn’t happen. And if there’s no hope for a positive change in the future, it might be time to let go. It’s not easy, but it might be the best for both of you.

How to cope with losing child custody due to parental alienation:

Losing custody of your child is a devastating experience. It can be even more difficult to cope if you have been accused of parental alienation.

Parental alienation occurs when one parent attempts to damage the relationship between their child and the other parent. This can be done through a variety of means, including badmouthing the other parent, trying to turn the child against them, or limiting contact between the child and the other parent.

If you have been accused of parental alienation, it is vital to take steps to improve your relationship with your child. This can include attending counselling sessions, apologizing for any past behaviour, and making an effort to encourage a healthy relationship between your child and the other parent.

By taking these steps, you can improve your chances of regaining custody of your child. In this situation, you can bring legal advice from a family law attorney. But don’t try to lie to the court to get back your child’s custody.

My child is severely alienated; should I give up? I hope the below video discussion will guide you properly:

FAQs on When to Give up on an Alienated Child

What should you not say to an alienated child?

Attempting to engage an alienated child in conversation can be a frustrating experience. The child may refuse to talk or may give one-word answers, and they may seem hostile or uninterested in what you have to say.

Remember that the child is not intentionally trying to be rude or uncooperative. They are simply acting following the alienation they are experiencing.

You should avoid saying certain things to an alienated child, as they can further damage the relationship and make the child feel more isolated.

For example, don’t make fake promises that you can’t keep. Additionally, avoid criticising or making negative comments about the other parent, as this will only reinforce the child’s negative feelings. Instead, try to focus on the positive aspects of the relationship and focus on building a bond with the child.

Does parental alienation ever stop?

Parental alienation is a serious problem that can have a lasting impact on children and families. It occurs when one parent deliberately tries to damage the relationship between a child and the other parent.

In some cases, the alienation may stop on its own as the children age and begin forming independent relationships with the targeted parent. In other cases, the estrangement may become entrenched and can last for years or even decades. The best way to deal with parental alienation is to seek professional help as soon as possible.

With the help of a skilled therapist, it may be possible to overcome the alienation and heal the family relationships.

What are the behavioural manifestations of an alienated child?

Behavioural manifestations of an alienated child can vary but often include withdrawn or hostile behaviour towards the parent, loss of interest in activities that previously brought joy, expressed fear or anxiety about being around the parent, and negative comments about the parent.

Alienated children may also refuse to spend time with their parents or actively try to avoid them. In severe cases, an alienated child may exhibit symptoms of depression or have thoughts about harming themselves.

These behaviours are often a result of the child feeling rejected, unimportant, or unloved by the parent. If you suspect your child is exhibiting alienation, seek professional help. A therapist can provide support and guidance as you work to heal your relationship with your child.

How do you reach out to an alienated child?

It can be challenging to reach out to an alienated child. Often, they have built up a wall around themselves and may resist any attempts at communication.

One way to reach out to an alienated child is to express your willingness to listen. Let them know you are there for them and want to help.

Avoid judging or lecturing them; instead, focus on understanding their perspective. Spending time with them doing activities they enjoy may also be helpful.

This can help to build trust and improve communication. By taking the time to reach out, you can make a real difference in the life of an alienated child.

What questions can you ask an alienated child?

If you suspect that a child in your life is experiencing alienation, there are some questions you can ask to gauge the severity of the situation. First, ask the child how he or she feels about the other parent.

It may signify alienation if the child expresses negative feelings like anger or fear. Next, ask the child whether he or she still wants a relationship with the other parent. If the child says no or seems ambivalent, it could signify that alienation has begun to set in.

Finally, ask the child whether he or she has been encouraged to bad-mouth the other parent. If the answer is yes, alienation is likely playing a role in the child’s life. By asking these questions, you can better understand what the child is going through and whether intervention is necessary.

How to win back an alienated child?

The hardest thing for a parent to deal with is an alienated child. It’s a situation that heartbreaks mothers and fathers across the globe. The reasons for this estrangement could be many, from drugs to abuse or even just a simple difference in opinion.

Here are four pieces of advice on how to win back an alienated child:

The first step is to listen. It’s essential to understand why your child feels the way they do. They may have valid reasons for their anger or resentment. Only by listening can you hope to understand their perspective and begin to repair the relationship.

The second step is to take responsibility for your actions. If you played a role in the alienation, you must admit that and apologise. This won’t be easy, but it’s necessary if you want to win back your child’s trust.

The third step is to give your child space. They may not be ready to forgive you immediately, and that’s okay. Give them time to work through their feelings at their own pace. The most important thing is that you let them know you love them and are there for them when they’re ready to reconcile.

Finally, don’t give up hope. The road to winning back an alienated child will be long and complex, but it’s not impossible. As long as you remain patient and understanding, there’s a good chance you will eventually be able to mend your relationship and build a lasting bond with your child once again.


Though it’s tough, sometimes you must choose what’s best for your child, even if that means leaving them. If you’re in an abusive or toxic relationship with your child, it’s time to let go. You may also want to leave if you don’t feel safe around your child.

Remember that your safety comes first. If there is no hope for a positive change in the future, it might be time to give up on your alienated child. But always try to make them feel how important you are to them.

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