In this post, I will discuss 10 practical signs your ex is turning your child against you. These are the signs of parental alienation. If you see any of these signs, you must take action immediately!
If you’re a parent going through a divorce or separation, there’s a good chance you’re worried about how the separation will affect your relationship with your children. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for one parent to try and turn the child against the other.
10 Signs Your Ex is Turning Your Child Against You to Alienate Your Child
#1. Child show less interest in you:
If you’ve noticed that your child seems less interested in spending time with you, it could be a sign that your ex is trying to turn them against you. Naturally, a child loves both parents, but if he or she suddenly becomes distant from you, it might be due to the other parent’s influence.
If your child used to enjoy spending time with you but now seems uninterested, it’s important to talk to them and find out what’s happening.
#2. They only listen to the other parent:
If your child only ever seems to listen to the other parent and ignores what you say, it could be a sign that they’re being turned against you.
There should have an open and honest relationship with your child where they feel like they can talk to you about anything. It could be a sign that something’s going on if it feels like they’re shutting you out.
If your child is only listening to the other parent, it’s important to try and find out why. It could be that they’re feeling more connected to the other parent or that they don’t feel like they can talk to you about certain things.
Whatever the reason, encourage open communication with your child so you can resolve any issues.
#3. Child feels more comfortable with other parents:
If your child suddenly seems more comfortable with the other parent and less comfortable around you, it’s a sign that they might be being alienated against you.
This is often one of the first signs that something is going on. If your child used to be close to you but now seems to prefer the other parent, it’s worth talking to them to find out why.
It could be that the other parent is simply more fun or that they’re providing something you’re not. Whatever the reason, address it so you can maintain a close relationship with your child.
If your child seems more comfortable with the other parent, encourage them to spend time with you so you can bond.
#4. Child don’t want to stay at your home:
You have 50/50 custody, and your child used to love to stay at your home. But, if you see that he or she won’t want to stay at your home and try to find any excuse, it might be a sign that you’re being alienated. Teenage children especially do this kind of thing.
There could be many reasons your child doesn’t want to stay at your house, but if it’s out of the blue and they seem uncomfortable, it’s worth talking to them to find out what’s happening.
Other parents might say something bad about you to your child, and as a result, he or she doesn’t want to stay with you. Narcissistic parents always try to brainwash their children against the other parent.
#5. Your ex tries to limit your parenting time:
One of the most common signs that your ex is trying to turn your child against you is if they start limiting your parenting time. Maybe they start making excuses for why the kids can’t see you, or they start cancelling visits at the last minute.
Or, maybe they stop letting you have phone calls or video chats with the kids. This is all part of their plan to make you look like a bad parent in front of the kids so that it will be easier for them to win custody in court.
#6. Your ex gives more money or gift to the child:
“My ex is using my child as a weapon.”
If they start bribing them with money or gifts, it’s a sign that they’re trying to turn your child against you.
Narcissistic parents will often try to buy their child’s love and affection. They’ll give them more money or gifts to make them feel like the other parent is better. This is a manipulative tactic.
For example, if they take the kids out for ice cream every time they see them or buy them a new toy every time they visit, that’s a way of buying their affection and making them think more highly of their other parent.
In contrast, if you are always the one saying no or making them obey rules, they will start resenting you and thinking more highly of your ex.
#7. Child refuses to exercise your visitation schedule:
A child refusing to exercise your visitation schedule is a sign of your ex is turning your child against you. When a child rebels against a parent, it’s often because the parent is seen as a source of pain or conflict.
If your child constantly refuses to see you, it may be because they’re trying to avoid a difficult or unpleasant situation. Maybe other parents said something bad about you to your child or tried to brainwash them.
#8. They sound exactly like the other parent:
If you start to notice that your child is starting to sound exactly like the other parent, it’s a sign that they’re being alienated against you. This is often one of the first signs that something is going on.
Your child might start using the same phrases or words the other parent uses. They might also start adopting their mannerisms or behaviours. This is all part of the process of becoming more like the other parent and less like you.
They could be just trying to please the other parent or feeling confused and lost. Either way, it’s not healthy for your child to be in.
#9. They don’t want to talk to you:
“My daughter has turned against me and now not talking to me, even not receiving my phone.”
Yes, it hurts when your child starts to distance themselves from you, but if they’re constantly avoiding you or refusing to talk to you, it’s a sign that something is wrong.
Your child might be trying to protect themselves from the conflict between you and their other parent. Or, they might be alarmed by the other parent about not talking to you.
For example, the other parent might have told them that you’re a bad person or that they shouldn’t talk to you. This is all part of the process of alienation, and it’s not healthy for your child.
#10. They always take sides with the other parent:
If your child always takes sides with the other parent, it’s a sign that they’re being alienated against you. This is because the other parent will likely be badmouthing you to your child and making you look like the villain.
Your child might start agreeing with everything the other parent says about you. Or, they might start defending the other parent’s actions even when they’re clearly in the wrong.
Coach Jackie discussed more common signs your ex is turning your child against you:
FAQs on Signs Your Ex is Turning Your Child Against you
How do I protect my children from parental alienation?
You can do several things to protect your children from parental alienation.
First, it is important to be aware of the signs. Look for changes in your child’s behaviour, such as withdrawing from friends or activities they used to enjoy. They may also start making negative comments about the other parent.
If you notice any of these red flags, talk to your child and see if anything is going on that they want to talk about. It is also important to have a strong relationship with your child so that they feel comfortable coming to you with any problems.
Finally, stay involved in your child’s life as much as possible. Attend their school events, help with homework, and make time for regular family outings. Taking these steps can help protect your child from the harmful effects of parental alienation.
How to win back an alienated child?
It can be a difficult and heart-wrenching task to win back an alienated child. The first step is to try and establish communication with the child through letters, texts, or emails.
Remain calm and respectful, even if the child is hostile or unresponsive. Avoid blame or criticism, as this will further alienate the child. Instead, focus on rebuilding trust and showing that you are there for them.
Sometimes it may be necessary to seek the help of a professional to reunite with an alienated child. However, with patience and understanding, it is possible to overcome this obstacle and build a strong relationship with your child again.
How to prove your child is being brainwashed?
It can be difficult to know for sure if this is the case. A few tell-tale signs may indicate that your child is being influenced by outside forces: sudden changes in behaviour, withdrawing from family and friends, and exhibiting extreme devotion to a new cause or person.
How to stop an ex from turning your kids against you?
First and foremost, stay calm and avoid saying anything negative about the other parent in front of the children. Co-parenting with someone like this person is really tough job. Document any parental alienation instances so you can provide evidence to the court, if necessary.
You may file a petition for custody modification. If you can prove that your ex’s activities are against the child’s best interest, the court may order a change in custody.
If you have concerns about your child’s safety, you may also file for a restraining order. If the situation is dangerous for the child, you may call DCF. This will protect both you and your child from further harm.
Finally, seek support from friends and family members who can provide emotional stability during this difficult time.
If you notice any of these signs, taking action is important. You should talk to your child and figure out what’s happening. You should also consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you deal with the situation. And if necessary, you should take legal action to protect your relationship with your child.