Spending Holidays with Ex Wife: 12 Should or Shouldn’t?

It’s the holiday season again, and for many people, that means spending time with family. But what if your family is a little different than most? What if your ex-wife is still in the picture? Some people might say that spending holidays with an ex wife is a bad idea, while others might say that it’s no big deal. So, should you spend holidays with your ex-wife or not?

This blog is for you if you’re on the fence about spending time with your ex-wife during the holidays. I’ll be sharing all of the reasons why it’s a good idea and some reasons why it might not be the best choice.

spending holidays with ex wife

Spending Holidays with Ex Wife: Should for 7 Reasons

Here are 7 reasons why you should spend holidays with your ex wife.

#1. Your kids will appreciate it:

You may complain, “boyfriend spending Christmas with ex-wife.”  or “girlfriend spends holidays with ex-husband.”

I think this is not bad for the children. If you and your ex-wife have children together, spending holidays with her may be in their best interests. Also, spending time with ex and child can positively impact their relationship. It may be an alternative to reunification therapy which children often refuse to attend.

Your children will appreciate having both parents spend time together, even if it’s not as a couple. It’ll give them a chance to feel loved and secure, and it’ll be a great opportunity for your ex-wife and you to show that even though you don’t have a romantic relationship anymore, you both still care about each other.

#2. It can help move forward:

This is also a great way to move forward as exes. You’ll have the chance to show each other that you’re both capable of spending time together without there being any drama or tension.

Spending time together could help create mutual respect, which can lead to more understanding between the two of you. And if both parties are willing to set aside their differences, it could be a good way for both of you to let go and start to move on.

It’s important to remember not to pressure each other into anything. Take it slow and easy, and ensure that you both set boundaries so that nobody feels uncomfortable or taken advantage of.

#3. It’s good for co-parenting:

Should divorced parents spend holidays together? I must say yes. Since you both have children in common, it’s important to maintain a healthy relationship with your ex-wife for the kids’ sake. Spending holidays together can help create a more positive environment for co-parenting and make it easier for your kids to adjust to their new family dynamic. 

It’ll give you both a chance to work together in creating a great holiday experience for your kids, and it’ll also help strengthen the bond between you two as co-parents. It could also allow both parties to reconnect and look for other ways to make co-parenting easier. 

#4. It’s better for your health:

It may sound strange, but it can actually be good for your health. Studies have shown that people who can forgive and move on after a breakup are healthier emotionally and physically. This is also good for your mental and physical health. It can help reduce stress levels, improve moods, and boost self-esteem.

This also allows you to catch up on each other’s lives and enjoy quality time together, which can be very therapeutic. So, if spending holidays with your ex-wife is an option, it may be a good idea to take advantage of it for your health. Don’t stick to your ex.

#5. It can be a great way to make amends:

If things didn’t end well between you two, spending time together during the holidays is an excellent opportunity to make amends and restore your relationship. You’ll have the chance to talk about various things without any awkwardness or tension, which can lead to a better understanding and improved relationship with your ex.

Also, spending holidays with an ex-wife can be a great way to show her that you still care and that there are no hard feelings between the two of you.

#6. It’s a chance to socialize:

It is also a great chance to socialize and meet new people. If you and your ex-wife have mutual friends or family, spending time with them can be a great opportunity to connect with them more meaningfully.

It might even help you form new relationships, whether platonic or romantic. It’s always nice to have people around during the holidays, and this could be a great opportunity for both you and your ex-wife to make some new connections. 

#7. It can be fun:

Finally, spending holidays with an ex-wife can also be a lot of fun! You’ll have the chance to reminisce about old times, share stories and laughs, and just enjoy each other’s company.

In addition, spending time with your ex-wife can be a great way to reconnect and remind yourselves of the positive aspects of your relationship. Even though you don’t have a romantic relationship anymore, there are still good things about spending time together.

If you feel up for it, spending time with your ex-wife during the holidays can be a great way to maximize your holiday season!

Spending Holidays with Ex Wife: Shouldn’t for 5 Reasons

Is it normal to spend Christmas with your ex-wife at her house? Here are 5 reasons why you shouldn’t spend holidays with your ex-wife.

#1. It can stir up old feelings:

Holidays are a time for family, friends, and loved ones. But if you’re not quite ready to move on from your past, spending holidays with your ex-wife can be a recipe for disaster. Unwanted emotions may come rushing back, leading to drama or conflict that nobody wants during the holiday season. Sometimes, it may hinder the healing process.

Also, spending holidays with an ex-wife can resurface romantic feelings, which may be more painful in the long run.

#2. It could be uncomfortable:

When spending holidays with your ex-wife, there may be awkwardness and discomfort. She may not be ready for a peaceful relationship or uncomfortable being around her former partner.

Moreover, spending time together may lead to unresolved issues and tense conversations that could result in further conflict, causing more pain and distress.

Spending time with your ex-wife during the holidays could lead to very uncomfortable moments. After all, it’s not like you two are a couple anymore, and her current partner might feel threatened by your presence. Plus, since you already know each other so well, there’s a chance that there could be some uncomfortable silence or tension between you two. 

#3. It can cause conflict:

Resentment and bitterness can rear their ugly heads when forced to spend time with an ex-wife during the holidays. If you haven’t completely healed from your divorce, being around her during this triggers all sorts of negative emotions.

Furthermore, spending time with an ex-wife can also cause tension between other family members, as they may not be comfortable spending the holidays together.

#4. It can interfere with your own family’s traditions:

If spending holidays with your ex-wife means leaving out your own family or interfering with their cherished holiday traditions, it may be best to consider other options. Your loved ones deserve a festive season filled with joy and laughter, not stress and tension.

Additionally, spending holidays with your ex-wife may leave you feeling guilty or like you betray your family, which can be uncomfortable.

#5. It might set unrealistic expectations:

If you spend the holidays with your ex-wife, it could lead to unrealistic expectations on both sides. If you both had a good time, it could be tempting to think that spending more time together is possible or even try to rekindle the relationship.

However, just because you spend the holidays with your ex does not change the fact that you are no longer together. It is crucial to have reasonable expectations and remember that getting together for holidays doesn’t mean you’re a couple again.

I hope the below beach vacation video with an ex will inspire you properly:

FAQs on Spending Holidays with Ex Wife

Is it a good idea to go on holiday with your ex?

No one ever said that breaking up was going to be easy. But it can be torture when you are on holiday with your ex. Spending 24/7 in close quarters with someone who you once shared everything with, only to have it all end painfully, is not a recipe for a good time.

In fact, it can actually make the healing process even harder. However, there are some instances where going on holiday with your ex can be a good idea. If you have children together or are still on good terms, it can be a way to stay connected and keep the peace.

Ultimately, though, whether or not going on holiday with your ex is a good idea is a personal decision only you can make. But I personally don’t like this idea. It seems to me talking with someone regularly who has a girlfriend already.

Why does my ex want to spend her holiday with me?

Your ex may want to spend her holiday with you for many reasons. For example, if your ex wants to do things as a family, then spending the holidays together might be something she is comfortable with.

Your ex may also want to spend the holidays with you out of a sense of nostalgia or wanting to keep up with tradition. Or, it could be that spending time together is simply her way of showing respect for your relationship and honoring what it once was.

Also, if your ex-wife doesn’t like your new girlfriend, she may be looking for a chance to “check her out.” Ultimately, your ex’s motivations for spending the holidays with you may never be known. It is up to you to decide whether or not it will be beneficial or detrimental for both of you.

How do I deal with my ex during the holidays?

The holidays are everyone’s favorite time, but they can be difficult if you are dealing with an ex. If you have shared custody of your children, you will likely need to at least interact with your ex regularly. Here are some tips for how to deal with your ex during the holidays:

1. Communicate: Be sure to inform your ex about your holiday plans. This will help to avoid any unnecessary conflict or confusion.

2. Be Respectful: Even if things didn’t end well between you and your ex, respectful when interacting with them. This is especially crucial if you have children together.

3. Don’t Argue: The holidays are not the time to rehash old arguments or disagreements. If you can’t seem to avoid arguing with your ex, it may be best to limit your interactions with them during this time.

4. Keep Things Civil: Remember that you don’t have to be friends with your ex, but also keep things civil. This means avoiding any name-calling or other disrespectful behavior.

5. Focus on the Positive: The holidays are a time for family, friends, and loved ones. Try to focus on the positive aspects of this time of year, and remember that your ex is not the only person in your life who matters.

Can you still love your ex-wife after the divorce?

It’s a common misconception that divorce means the end of love. Just because a couple is no longer together doesn’t mean they can’t still care deeply for one another. In fact, in many cases, the bond between ex-spouses can be even stronger than during the marriage.

Divorcees often have a shared history and understanding of one another that can create a deep level of intimacy. They may also have children together, creating another level of connection.

Of course, not all divorced couples can maintain a loving relationship. But for those who do, it can be a beautiful thing.

How do you set boundaries with your ex-wife?

Setting boundaries with an ex-wife can be a delicate task. After all, you have a history together and may still share certain responsibilities, such as co-parenting.

However, establish clear boundaries to protect your relationship with your current partner and maintain your emotional well-being. One way to set boundaries is to create separate spaces in your home for each of you. This will help to avoid any feelings of encroachment or jealousy.

You should also keep communication focused on practical matters, such as co-parenting arrangements. Finally, respect each other’s privacy and refrain from prying into one another’s personal lives.

By following these tips, you can help to set healthy boundaries with your ex-wife and rebuild your relationship on a positive foundation.


Overall, spending holidays with an ex-wife can be a volatile and risky situation. Consider all the possible ramifications before making any decisions. If spending time together only brings up negative emotions or causes conflict, it may be best not to do it.

On the other hand, if both parties can get along peacefully, spending holidays with an ex-wife can be a great way to reconnect and find the positive sides of your relationship.

Leave a Comment