8 Ways on How to Handle a Controlling Husband

Fallen Thomas, my neighbor, said, My husband always tries to control me. He is always telling me how to do things, how I should act, or how to dress. He doesn’t consider my opinion and can get angry if I don’t obey his orders. Now I want to know how to handle a controlling husband.”

You’re not alone if you feel like your husband is trying to control every aspect of your life. A controlling husband can be a major source of stress in a relationship. Also, they can be very dangerous, both physically and emotionally.

What are the signs of a controlling husband, and how to handle them? In this article, I will discuss tricks on how to deal with a controlling husband. Don’t let him take over your life – read on for tips on how to stand up to him!

how to handle a controlling husband

5 Signs of a Controlling Husband

#1. He monitors how you spend your time:

Controlling husbands often try to track how their wives are spending their time. They may check up on where you’ve been, who you were with, and what you were doing.

Also, they may try to restrict how you spend your free time or how often you can go out with friends. This kind of behavior is a serious red flag and should not be tolerated.

#2. He’s jealous of other people:

Controlling husbands have difficulty dealing with their wives’ relationships with other people. They may become extremely jealous or possessive, leading to manipulative behavior and even verbal abuse.

Moreover, if your husband is jealous of how you interact with other people, that’s a warning sign. I know a couple where the husband doesn’t help his wife with household work. He used to keep his wife busy all time.

#3. He always has the final say:

Controlling husbands think they are in charge of everything and have the last word on all decisions. They may refuse to listen to their wives’ opinions or even shut down any discussion.

This kind of behavior is not only hurtful but very dangerous. If your husband refuses to listen, that’s a red flag. A controlling husband doesn’t want to share the financial details with the wife. He wants to control everything in the family.

#4. He’s always trying to change you:

Controlling husbands may try to change how you dress, wear your hair, and act in public. To them, it seems like they are just trying to make you a better version of yourself – but they’re really just trying to control how other people perceive you.

If your husband constantly tries to change how you look or act, it’s a sign of control. But, he will not change his bad behavior like coming home late at night, arranging parties with friends, etc.

#5. He forces you to do things:

Controlling husbands may threaten or even force their wives to do things they don’t want. This can range from going out with them on a date night when you don’t feel like it to buying something you don’t need.

No one should ever be forced into doing something they’re uncomfortable with – if your husband is doing this, that means your husband doesn’t value you. It’s a sign that he’s trying to control you.

8 Ways How to Handle a Controlling Husband

What to do when you have a controlling husband? There are 8 proven ways to do this. I am going to discuss all of them below:

#1. Communicate clearly:

If you realize your husband is attempting to control your life, start by expressing how his behavior impacts you emotionally. Make sure he understands how uncomfortable the situation is for you so that he can see how serious the issue is. Moreover, use the “I feel” statements when expressing your feelings.

Remember, communicate with your husband calmly and clearly to explain how his behavior makes you feel. This will help him recognize the problem and hopefully change his behavior. Open and honest communication is helpful even in catching and handling a cheating husband.

#2. Set boundaries:

Setting boundaries is an essential part of handling a controlling husband. It can be not easy to do so, especially when the controlling behavior is so heavily ingrained in your husband’s lifestyle that it’s become part of his normal behavior.

While it may seem challenging, setting boundaries with your husband can help you keep your independence and sanity. Defining clear expectations gives him accountability for his actions and also reminds him not to accept any treatment that you are uncomfortable with.

Setting boundaries also ensures no one takes advantage of you emotionally or physically and helps create a sense of mutual respect between you. Establishing these parameters demonstrates that you have the right to protect yourself and empowers you to take charge of your life in regard to such challenging opportunities in the future.

#3. Don’t let him guilt you:

Controlling husbands may use guilt to manipulate their wives. He may try to make you feel guilty for saying no or speaking your mind, or even for wanting to go out with friends. Never give in to this manipulation – stand your ground and don’t back down.

Also, don’t let him guilt you into staying in the relationship. If he is using guilt to keep you in his control, it’s time to get out of that situation.

#4. Get support:

Dealing with a controlling husband is difficult, so don’t be afraid to ask for help. Reach out to family and friends for emotional support or seek professional counseling if necessary. Talking with someone can help you gain clarity and perspective on how to deal with the situation.

Most importantly, don’t feel like you’re alone – getting help can make a big difference in how you handle your husband.

#5. Avoid confrontation:

Although it’s crucial to express your emotions regarding his behavior, directly attacking him will likely make him feel defensive and need more control. Instead, try to take a step back.

Keep a calm and level-headed attitude when talking to him. Show him that you’re not afraid of his control, but also don’t provoke it. This way, he may be more willing to listen to how his behavior makes you feel.

#6. Make your own decisions:

Controlling husbands may try to make decisions for you, such as how to raise your children or how to manage your finances. You must clarify that these are your decisions and should not be influenced by him.

Try to make the decision yourself without consulting with him. This will show him that you don’t need his approval and can take action yourself.

It’s never easy to make decisions when you have a controlling husband. It can be especially difficult when you don’t feel empowered to make decisions or if they’ve been taken away from you entirely. 

However, it is important to remember that making decisions and standing up for yourself are essential elements of a healthy marriage. Doing so demonstrates your right as a person and reinforces the boundaries that should exist in both intimate and familial relationships. 

Making your own decisions is essential for protecting yourself against an overly controlling husband, even if it means making a few mistakes along the way – both learning opportunities and test drives in having the courage to continue on the path of autonomy.

#7. Take some time alone:

Take some time away from the situation and just enjoy life without him. Go out with friends, vacation, or just spend time alone doing something you love. Taking breaks can help you gain perspective and clarity on how to deal with your husband’s controlling behavior.

Moreover, take time to remember how strong and independent you are. This will help empower you and remind him that he does not have control over your life.

#8. Don’t blame yourself:

While it may be tempting to blame yourself, remember that controlling a combination of past experiences and outside factors creates husbands. So don’t take responsibility for his behavior or actions – these things are out of your control.

Instead, focus on how you can make the current situation better. Also, don’t forget that you have the right to protect yourself and your children if necessary.

This video might help you to know more about how to deal with a controlling spouse:

FAQs on How to Handle a Controlling Husband

What does a controlling husband do?

A controlling husband attempts to assert power and control over his wife through various means. He may try to control her finances, dictate what she wears or who she talks to, and restrict her freedom in other ways.

A controlling husband may also be physically abusive, using violence to intimidate, doesn’t love you anymore but won’t leave, etc. In some cases, a controlling husband may even try to isolate his wife from her friends and family, making it difficult for her to get support or help.

A controlling husband can be very difficult to live with and make it difficult for his wife to lead a happy and fulfilled life. If you suspect your husband is trying to control you, reach out for help from a trusted friend or loved one.

Many hotlines and support groups are available to assist women in abusive relationships. With the right support, you can break free from the cycle of control and live a happy and healthy life.

Why do husbands control their wives?

In many relationships, it is not uncommon for one partner to exert greater control than the other. While this dynamic can occur in same-sex relationships, it is most often seen in heterosexual couples, with husbands typically taking on the role of the controlling partner.

There are several possible explanations for why this might be the case. In some cases, it may be an extension of traditional gender roles, with men feeling it is their place to call the shots in the relationship.

Alternatively, it could be a sign of insecurity on the part of the husband, who may feel threatened by his wife’s independence. In other cases, it is a matter of personality, with some men needing to control all aspects of their lives.

Whatever the cause, remember that both partners should have an equal say in decision-making, and no one should feel like their partner is controlling them.

Should I stay with my controlling husband?

This is a difficult question to answer, as there are pros and cons to staying with a controlling husband.

On the one hand, leaving the relationship may be the best thing for you, especially if your husband is abusive or otherwise harmful to your well-being.

However, on the other hand, some couples can work through their issues and become stronger.

It ultimately depends on your situation and feelings about remaining in the relationship. If you’re feeling unsafe or uncomfortable, it may be best to leave. But if you’re willing to work on building trust and communication, staying in the marriage could be the right choice for you.

How to divorce my controlling husband?

“I want to divorce my controlling husband.”

If you’re considering divorcing your controlling husband, you’re not alone. Many women find themselves in marriages where they feel like they’re not really living their own lives. Rather, they’re living the life their husband dictated for them. If this sounds familiar, know that you have options.

The first step is to talk to a lawyer. They can help you understand the legal process and what to expect. They can also help you determine if there are any grounds for divorce in your state. Once you clearly understand the process, you can start to take action.

If possible, try to gather evidence of your husband’s controlling behavior. This can be things like emails, text messages on WhatsApp, or even recordings of conversations. This evidence can be helpful in court if your case goes that far.

Also, reach out to family and friends for support. Divorcing a controlling husband can be a difficult and emotionally charged process. Having a strong support system will be vital during this time.

Contact a lawyer today if you’re ready to take the first step. They can help you begin the process of divorcing your controlling husband and taking back control of your life.

How do you outsmart a controlling person?

When dealing with a controlling person, staying calm and maintaining your boundaries is important. Explain that you need space and time for yourself, as this will help them see that you’re not going to be swayed by their behavior.

Let them know that certain actions or behaviors are unacceptable and that there will be consequences if they continue. It is also essential to be assertive and stand your ground when making decisions that affect you.

Oftentimes, this can help a controlling person understand that they cannot dictate your life.  Finally, if the situation becomes too much to handle on your own, seek professional help or support from friends and family.


Dealing with a controlling husband is challenging, but it’s possible to do so healthily. Remember to be firm and consistent when setting boundaries, don’t let him guilt you into anything and take some time for yourself.

Most importantly, don’t blame yourself for the situation; focus on improving things and protecting yourself. With the right approach, you can handle a controlling husband without sacrificing your own well-being.

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