My Husband Doesn’t Value Me: Signs & 10 Things to Do

Amilia, my friend, shared her sad story, “My husband doesn’t value me, my opinions, my contributions, my feelings, or my emotions. He is always criticizing me and belittling my accomplishments. How to make my husband value me.”

Well, it is a tough time, and it is heartbreaking to know that you are not valued in a relationship. Don’t worry – you’re not alone. If you’re questioning whether or not your husband values you, read on for five telltale signs. Plus, I’ve shared ten things you can do to change the situation.

my husband doesn't value me

My Husband Doesn’t Value Me: 5 Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Value You Anymore

Here are 5 signs your husband doesn’t appreciate you.

He doesn’t acknowledge your feelings:

“My husband doesn’t care when I cry.” This is the case when your husband doesn’t acknowledge your feelings.

If your husband rarely listens to what you have to say and disregards your feelings, it is a sign that he doesn’t value you. It could be as simple as him not listening when you’re trying to tell him something or brushing off what you say.

This includes ignoring your thoughts and ideas, such as when you’re trying to plan a family vacation or make joint decisions. It could be more serious such as him not showing empathy for you in difficult times.

He avoids showing affection:

When your husband doesn’t help you with anything and avoids showing affection, it is one of the most evident signs that he doesn’t value you or your relationship. Such behavior can feel very disheartening and make you question how much your husband cares about you. 

While there could be other explanations for why my husband isn’t showing affection—such as feeling insecure in the relationship—it could also be a sign that he doesn’t consider you special. It’s a painful reality to face, but it’s important to recognize signs that your husband may not value you as highly as he should.

He doesn’t ask your opinion:

“My husband doesn’t value my opinion.”

When you feel your husband is not taking the time to listen to what you say, it can be a sign that he doesn’t value your opinion. Not only is this insulting, but it can also be extremely hurtful and damaging to a relationship. It can lead to feelings of insecurity, powerlessness, and even resentment. It’s a situation when you can feel that your husband doesn’t love you as well as doesn’t leave you.

A person you love should always be willing to hear what you have to say and consider it respectfully so that you can come up with solutions together. If your spouse isn’t asking for your opinion or considering it in any way, it is best for both of you to get some outside help to respect and value all of your opinions.

He’s constantly criticizing and belittling you:

If your husband constantly criticizes and belittles you, it is a sign that he doesn’t value you. No one should have to be in a relationship where they are consistently criticized and put down for no reason.

Moreover, if he makes you feel like you are not good enough, it is a sign that your husband doesn’t value who you are. Everyone likes to hear a compliment now and then. If your husband isn’t telling you how great, beautiful, smart, or capable you are, then he likely doesn’t think much of you.

He puts less effort into the relationship:

If your husband isn’t trying to improve the relationship, it might be a sign that he doesn’t see you as valuable. This could manifest in small ways, such as him forgetting special occasions or not taking you on dates often. However, it could also indicate more serious issues like him refusing to shoulder his domestic responsibilities or care for you and the family properly.

Additionally, if your husband neglects financial contributions towards maintaining household stability, this likely indicates a lack of value or respect for you.

What to do if your husband doesn't value you

My Husband Doesn’t Value Me: 10 Things You Can Do to Increase Your Value

Now you may ask questions like How to make my husband value me?  Or What to do when your husband doesn’t value you anymore? Here are 10 things you can do if your husband doesn’t value you.

1. Talk to him:

The first step is to talk to your husband about how his behavior makes you feel. Make sure he understands that by not valuing you, he is damaging the relationship and compromising your well-being. If he does understand, it’s a good starting point for strengthening the relationship. Also, be honest and direct when talking to your partner but not confrontational.

Remember, communication is key to resolving issues in any relationship. Make sure you open up the conversation with your husband and tell him that you need more respect and appreciation from him. Even don’t remove him from social media. Keep open all of the methods of communication.

2. Set boundaries:

If your husband continues not to value you, it’s time to set boundaries or walk away because he wouldn’t commit. It is essential to let him know what behaviors are acceptable and which are not. This will help him understand that there is a limit to his behavior and that he needs to start respecting your opinions and feelings.

It also allows you to create a safe space for yourself where your needs and feelings are heard and respected. Setting boundaries in a relationship can increase your value as a wife to your husband in several ways:

  • It shows that you value and respect yourself: When you set clear boundaries in your relationship, you show your husband that you value and respect yourself. This can increase his respect for you and make him more likely to treat you with kindness and consideration.
  • It creates a sense of security: Clear boundaries can create a sense of security in your relationship. When your husband knows what is expected of him and what is off-limits, he can feel more confident in his role as a partner and may be more likely to contribute positively to the relationship.
  • It promotes healthy communication: Setting boundaries requires open and honest communication, which can lead to a deeper and more meaningful connection with your husband. When you are both clear about your needs and expectations, you can work together to create a more fulfilling relationship.
  • It helps you maintain your individuality: When you set boundaries in your relationship, you are asserting your right to maintain your individuality and pursue your own interests and goals. This can make you more attractive to your husband, as he sees that you have a strong sense of self and are not willing to compromise your values or identity for the sake of the relationship.

3. Show him love:

Show your husband that you still care about the relationship despite his lack of value. Ensure he knows you’re willing to try to improve things. Small gestures such as bringing him coffee in the morning or cooking his favorite meal will help him realize that you still value your relationship and would like to work on it together.

Doing so may encourage him to do the same and show more love and appreciation towards you.

4. Make sure you value yourself:

Finding the energy and strength to improve things can be difficult when your husband does not value you. In those moments, it’s important to remind yourself of your worth and all the things that make you unique. Acknowledging and celebrating your strengths will help you keep going when times get tough.

Moreover, take some time for yourself and engage in activities that make you feel happy and fulfilled. This will help boost your self-confidence and remind you of your value.

5. Focus on the positives:

Even if negative behavior from your husband outweighs the positive, try to focus on the good things he does. This will remind you why you decided to be with him first and that there is still hope for your relationship.

Additionally, appreciating and expressing gratitude for his positive behavior might encourage him to continue showing more respect and value toward you.

6. Spend time together:

Spending quality time together will help you get to know each other better and strengthen your relationship. Plan activities that both of you enjoy or do something special just for him. It could be as simple as sitting down for dinner and talking about your day or going out on a hike or picnic with friends. These moments will help you reconnect and create a stronger bond.

Moreover, it will also remind your husband why he chose to be with you first, which might encourage him to value you more. If people can spend quality time with their ex, then whyn’t you can do it with your husband?

7. Lead by example:

Sometimes people forget about the importance of reciprocity in relationships. Demonstrate to your husband that he is important to you by valuing and respecting him. Showing appreciation for his efforts will encourage him to do the same for you.

Also, remember that no one is perfect, so try not to focus on the negatives and instead on what makes your relationship work.

8. Have an honest conversation:

Talking to your husband about his lack of value is difficult, but it’s necessary if you want the relationship to improve. Remember to be honest about how his behavior makes you feel and focus on finding a solution together.

Moreover, asking for help is OK too! If you’re struggling with communication, it may be a good idea to attend couple’s therapy sessions.

9. Take some space:

Sometimes the best thing you can do is take a step back and give yourself some time away from the relationship. This allows you to take a break from all the stress and tension and think about what you really need from your husband.

Moreover, spending some time apart also encourages your husband to value your relationship more and work on reconnecting with you.

10. Seek professional help:

If things are not improving despite trying the above solutions, it may be a good idea to seek professional help. A psychologist or therapist can help you understand the root of your issues and identify solutions for a healthier relationship.

Additionally, therapy can help you develop better communication skills and learn how to show more appreciation toward each other. This will create a stronger bond between you two and remind your husband of why he chose to be with you in the first place.

I know a guy who recorded videos of everything when he fought with his wife. The lady was feeling so disturbed by this issue. Finally, their issue was solved with the help of an expert therapist.

I think you should watch this video to learn more about why you feel like your husband doesn’t value:

FAQs on My Husband Doesn’t Value Me

What are the signs of a toxic husband?

Toxic husbands come in all shapes and sizes, but there are some common signs that you may be married to one. For starters, a toxic husband is often excessively critical and quick to find fault. He may also be prone to fits of anger or jealousy and try to control every aspect of your life.

Additionally, a toxic husband is often selfish and unwilling to compromise. He may also be manipulative or even abusive.

If you’re married to a man who exhibits any of these behaviors, get help. A toxic husband can make your life miserable; in this situation, you can mean that you are ready for divorce, but with the right support, you can learn to deal with him and even improve your marriage.

How do you know if your husband doesn’t respect you?

Having a mutual level of respect in a marriage is a must – after all, the relationship can quickly turn toxic without it. So how can you tell if your husband doesn’t respect you? Here are some signs to watch out for: 

  • He regularly belittles or criticizes you. 
  • He gaslights or manipulates you. 
  • He withdraws from you emotionally. 
  • He dismisses your opinions and experiences. 
  • He refuses to communicate with you openly and honestly. 
  • He is physically or verbally abusive towards you. 
  • He has a history of infidelity or other instances of disloyalty. 
  • He neglects your needs or ignores your concerns altogether. 
  • He puts his own interests and desires above yours. 
  • He frequently dismisses or minimizes your feelings and emotions altogether. 

If you see any of these signs in your marriage, you must address the issue with your husband directly. Otherwise, the lack of respect will only continue to cause tension and conflict in your relationship.

How do you live with a husband who doesn’t value you?

Living with a husband who doesn’t value you can be an extremely challenging endeavor, but it’s possible to make the best of the situation. Start by communicating how much loyalty and respect mean to you.

Make sure he understands that there needs to be empathy and understanding in the relationship if it’s going to last. If he isn’t willing to put in the effort, try counseling which might shed light on issues in your relationship.

Don’t settle for maltreatment or disrespect, as this isn’t what marriage is about. You should never feel belittled or unimportant. Above all, have faith and stay strong, as life is full of beautiful surprises that might eventually change things. But before making any wrong decision or thinking about divorce, you need to know the pros and cons of divorce bifurcation.

What are the signs of a one-sided marriage?

A one-sided marriage is characterized by a lack of balance and equality in the relationship, with one partner doing most of the work and the other partner not contributing equally. Here are six signs that may indicate that your marriage is one-sided:

  • You’re the only one making an effort: You’re the only one who seems to be putting in effort to make the marriage work. You initiate most conversations, plan most dates, and take on most of the responsibilities in the relationship.
  • Your partner doesn’t listen to you: Your partner doesn’t seem to listen to you or take your opinions seriously. They may interrupt you when you speak, ignore your requests, or dismiss your feelings.
  • Your partner is selfish: Your partner seems more concerned with their own needs and wants than with yours. They may be selfish with their time, money, or affection, and may not be willing to compromise or make sacrifices for the sake of the relationship.
  • You feel unsupported: You don’t feel supported by your partner, either emotionally or practically. They may not offer you emotional support when you’re going through a difficult time, or they may not help you with household tasks or child-rearing responsibilities.
  • There’s a lack of intimacy: There’s a lack of intimacy in the relationship, either physical or emotional. Your partner may not be interested in physical intimacy or may not show affection or emotional support.
  • Your partner is unresponsive: Your partner doesn’t respond to your attempts to connect or communicate. They may not respond to your messages or calls, or they may avoid spending time with you.

If you recognize these signs in your marriage, it may be helpful to speak with your partner and address these issues together. A couples therapist can also help you work through these issues and improve the balance and equality in your relationship.

Last Words:

It’s never easy to deal with a spouse who doesn’t value you. It can be hard to stay positive and keep fighting for the relationship when facing such difficult times.

However, by understanding the signs of a lack of value from your husband and taking action to improve the situation, it is possible to create a healthier and happier relationship. So don’t give up, keep fighting and remember how valuable you are!

If you want a healthier relationship with your husband, it starts by understanding the signs that he doesn’t value you. From there, you can take action to improve things between the two of you.

About Shakir Ahmed

Head of the editorial team. I hold a Bachelor of Laws (LL.B) from UoL. Written hundreds of articles on divorce, child custody, employment and other human rights law topics for blogs and websites worldwide. Worked 6 years as a relationship development trainer. For any communication regarding any legal matter, please feel free to email me at

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